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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24650518">EPISODE THREE: Big Bu$ine$$ - Hostile Takeover</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_COTW/pseuds/J_COTW'>J_COTW</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Return to the Falls [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gravity Falls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dipcifica, F/M, Gen, Gravity Falls Oregon, Post-Gravity Falls, Returning to Gravity Falls, dippifica</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:14:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24650518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_COTW/pseuds/J_COTW</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately,  among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's  Diner,  Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for.  It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a  Northwest only provides for themselves.</p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and Bluetooth headsets, while Pacifica faces off with the biggest challenge of her life - finally severing ties with her family heritage.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pacifica Northwest/Dipper Pines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A Return to the Falls [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Dipcífica, Gravity Falls, Gravity falls</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Get 'em!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>The town of Gravity Falls. The pimple of the American Northwest!</em> </strong>
</p><p>“N-no. I don’t think that works.”                                                                                                     </p><p>
  <strong> <em>The town of Gravity Falls! We have gnomes!</em> </strong>
</p><p>“I’m not sure we want to <em>promote</em> the gnomes.”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The town of Gravity Falls! Electric Boogaloo!</em> </strong>
</p><p>“What?”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The town of Gravity Falls! We have free parking!</em> </strong>
</p><p>“Bingo! Get ‘em printed!”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>What font do you want? </em> </strong>
</p><p>“Font?”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The uh… the font. The letters. </em> </strong>
</p><p>“Big, friendly letters.”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Like what? Arial? Comic Sans…”</em> </strong>
</p><p>“Now you just aren’t making sense.”</p><p>Mayor Cutebiker put down the phone and sighed, leaning over his schedule and delicately marking off another meeting with white out – millimeter perfect. It was good to be mayor, and he felt like he was doing a pretty decent job.</p><p>Sure, there had been the odd gnome war, last week’s rogue manotaur and the occasional giant possum, but the town – by and large – was still in one piece, still bringing in tourists and still relatively peaceful and sleepy.</p><p>The problem was money. Bringing in <em>money</em> was not the strong point of a man who spent hundreds of dollars on puma and panther paraphernalia, and, for that reason, the <strong>G</strong>ravity <strong>E</strong>nterprise <strong>T</strong>eam of <strong>E</strong>asy <strong>M</strong>oneymaking was established.</p><p>A leading team of Gravity Falls’ businesses and industries, dedicated to helping to balance the book’s and keep the coffers stable. It seemed like a common sense move to the mayor. What he <em>didn’t</em> bank on was that most of these people made profit off of their fellow townsfolk.</p><p>Townsfolk who were among the most gullible and foolish people in the North West of America.</p><p><strong><em>GETEM</em></strong> consisted of Dan Corduroy, Susan Wentworth, Toby Determined, Jesus “Soos” Ramirez, and, of course, the once most wealthy man in Oregon…</p><p>Preston Northwest.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Big Business Brings Big Results</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The meeting room had been immaculately planned – pencils and rules laid out to the centimeter, perfectly straight, with flipcharts and notepads equally placed flawlessly. Tyler <em>loved</em> when things were tidy. It was one of many passions in his life.</p><p>He kept a strict schedule, kept everything <em>perfectly</em> lined up, kept the plants watered, ensured the water to ice ratio in the cooler was <em>ideal</em>, and made the best impression he could on everybody.</p><p>It was perhaps a bit unfortunate that most of his business leaders weren’t the sort to appreciate it.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you all for coming.” Mayor Tyler began, standing in front of his flip chart with a somewhat faulty air of authority. “You are all our town’s…”</p><p>He blinked as he cast his eye over the table of less than stable individuals.</p><p>“Best… business people.”</p><p>Soos rested his feet on the table, with his hands over his stomach and an XXXL soda on the arm of the leather executive chair.  “No problem, dude. Still got free snacks, right? I mean, we need brain food.”</p><p>There was a murmur of agreement across the table.</p><p>Tyler pulled on his collar. “We uh… can’t afford free snacks this month. I’ve gathered you here because we’re in financial trouble.”</p><p>“Then I shall have to take my genius elsewhere.” Soos replied, taking hold of his fez and brushing down his lapels. “Laters, dudes and dudettes. And Toby.”</p><p>Tyler watched with resignation as Soos took to the door – only for it to fly open, missing Mr. Mystery by mere inches.</p><p>Preston Northwest marched in, his arms behind his back, with a deeply furrowed brow – resplendent in his blazer and tie. Still looking every bit like a man who owned the population around him. A natural leader; a man in charge.</p><p>It was unfortunate that, for those who knew him, it was now so clear that this façade was crumbling. Preston Northwest was a man who controlled little other than a few multi-million dollar companies. Impressive, sure – but what else did he have authority with? He was a man whose daughter now worked in a diner, and lived with another family entirely. A man who no longer owned the state’s largest mansion, no longer held grand parties, and no longer had the ability to gather crowds.</p><p>He was no longer the beloved figurehead of Oregon. He was just another wealthy crook. One who tried to make a deal with an evil triangle and almost doomed the town to a lumberjack ghost just so he could keep his carpets clean.</p><p>People no longer <em>loved</em> the Northwests. People now <em>tolerated</em> the Northwests.</p><p>Mayor Cutebiker tried his best to be welcoming. “Ah, Preston, It’s good to see you.” A lie. “Please, take a seat.”</p><p>Preston sneered at Soos. “Is this rank amateur leaving?”</p><p>“Yes, he was-“</p><p>“Na, dude. I wanna hear what Northwest has to say.” Soos narrowed his eyes, sitting back down. Did Preston mean rank as in <em>rank</em> or rank as in <em>rank</em>? He didn’t like the uncertainty. He wasn’t a man to hold a grudge; but even he, by now, had learnt that the wealthy businessman was bad news. He’d heard enough reasons from Pacifica to fill a book.</p><p>His suspicion against him was roughly equal to the mailman. No mean feat.</p><p>Preston bristled his moustache and narrowed his eyes to the stout man in the fez.</p><p>The table fell under an awkward silence as the two exchanged a hard stare.</p><p>“<strong>I don’t even know why I’m here!</strong>” bellowed Manly Dan, breaking the tension by landing two outsized fists onto the boardroom table.</p><p>“Daaan, is this about the line dancing?” Tyler giggled, hands on his hips. “You know that wasn’t my decision.”</p><p>“<strong>I bought brand new boots!</strong>” Dan yelled, throwing a potted plant threw the window.</p><p>“And they looked <em>fabulous</em>, Daniel.” Tyler tried to reassure him, patting his shoulder. “We’ll do it next year.”</p><p>“<em>Please</em> do!” Toby chimed in. “The gamers all made fun of my appearance. They had three chins and smelt like nacho cheese! What world do we live in where that is acceptable?”</p><p>“You took off your shirt on the podium, Toby.” Tyler sighed, twisting his lip. “A man should only be doing that if he has a tan or <em>copious</em> amounts of body hair. Like Daniel, here.”</p><p>Dan raised an eyebrow as the mayor gently stroked up his arm.</p><p>“I deserve to be admired!” Toby protested. “Where’s the <em>positivity</em>?!”</p><p>“Dude, no offence but uh… the boil you had on your chest, I’m not saying it was messed up, but that was totally messed up, dog.” Soos winced. “It looked like a chestburster, dude. Y’know, from that movie?”</p><p>The table looked at him blankly.</p><p>“You know the movie, dudes. We should get together for a movie night. Have a party that’s, like, off the chain. I’ll bring nachos.”</p><p>The awkward silence continued. Soos found himself wishing that Melody was there with him. Actually, he’d like anyone else to be there <em>but</em> him.</p><p> </p><p>Preston rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed as he took his seat. “Have any of you ever turned a profit over the thousand dollar mark? Mayor Tyler, please. These are <em>minnows</em> in the business world. You want to turn to the <em>Pike</em> and ask<em> him</em> for advice.”</p><p>“Who’s Pike?” Tyler asked excitedly, clapping his little hands. “He sounds great!”</p><p>“I’m talking about me, mayor.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Tyler tried hard to hide his disappointment.</p><p>“No, I’m afraid a lumberjack, a diner owner and a tourist trap operator won’t bring in enough money to buy civic pride, Cutebiker. What you need is to move international. You want to start bringing <em>big</em> business into town. You want to industrialise! Revolutionise!”</p><p>A butler arrived with a large flipchart.</p><p>“I happen to know plenty of businesses that would love to bring a fresh perspective to the town. In fact, I think you’d be foolish to deny them the pleasure.”</p><p>“Now hang on, here, Preston.” Tyler rubbed his chin. “I don’t know if we really want a group of big city industries getting involved.”</p><p>“I hate big city things!” Dan thundered.</p><p>“And you know how difficult it is for Daniel to hate anything.” Tyler said, his arms now crossed protectively. “I have to side with him.”</p><p>“Nonsense.” Preston laughed. “They’d improve our proud town tenfold. Think of it; Lots of demand for lumber. Lots of new visitors seeking food and entertainment. Lots of news… You’d all benefit. Why, you would barely know they were here.”</p><p>Toby clapped. “All of the new customers for my boudoir photography!”</p><p>“Ah, y-yes. Uh… “ Preston coughed. “…Tony. I’m sure there’s plenty of people who’d <em>love</em> to spend time in a dark room with you.”</p><p>“Finally my crushing loneliness will be overrr!”</p><p>“Obviously that’s one vote from our dear head of press.” Preston smirked. “How about the rest of you. Why, Susan – you and your lovely enterprise, that charming… <em>diner</em>. You could get ten times the amount of customers. Imagine! You could get a second carriage! A second… log. Thing.”</p><p>Susan gasped at the very idea. Seating for more than fifty people? What a thought...</p><p>Preston muttered under his breath. <em>For my useless daughter to waste her time pouring coffee in…</em></p><p>“And let’s not forget our dear Mr. Mystery. Imagine how many poorly educated idiots could flow through your little hut! Imagine the amount of people who would benefit if there was a gas station nearby; so much profit.”</p><p>“I dunno, dude.”</p><p>“You could build an extension – or a little train ride through the forest. Imagine it, my friend.” Preston beamed, gesturing out through the windows. He held his hand near Soos’s shoulder but opted not to actually touch it. “A little choo choo, travelling through the trees, all to your own. A second shack. Another little shed of…things.”</p><p>Soos’s eyes widened. “Dare I live the dream?”</p><p>“All of your dreams could come true, my friends. The Northwest family could finally revolutionise our little town into a town for the 21<sup>st</sup> century tourist trade. We could finally right the wrongs. Have my family back at the top! And the economy back to the way it should be…”</p><p>Tyler leaned forward and spoke in a hushed tone, his eyes like saucers. “You mean…?”</p><p>“<strong><em>Profitable.</em></strong> Big business, my friends, brings in big results.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Awesome Express</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>The Pines family was playing <strong><em>Proprietorship</em></strong>, the famous property trading game, on the circular table in the shack’s living room. It was fair to say that tensions were beginning to build; as was tradition.</p><p>It was bad enough that Dipper and Ford were stuck to using dumb luck – Mabel and Stan’s preferred practices – but worse was that Stan was about as crooked a banker as one could wish for.</p><p>And Pacifica just about the most ruthless player either had ever encountered.</p><p>Ever.</p><p>“And I’ll buy a hotel on Esplanade…”</p><p>“Oh come on!” Stan shouted “I’ve been shooting for those dark blue squares, Northwest! You know it!”</p><p>“You should’ve bought Park Corner before me, then, Mr. Pines.”</p><p>“This is criminal!”</p><p>“What’s criminal is that I’m still winning when you have $500 bills shoved up your sleeves, Stan.”</p><p>Stan pushed the paper back up his shirt cuff and looked up at the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>Dipper was, so far, down to eight mortgaged properties, a get out of jail free card and a few bucks. It was fair to say, in all, the game was not going well for him. But if he just passed go, just rolled a six-</p><p>His girlfriend gave a broad, smug grin. “Five. Guess You’re paying me a visit, Dippingsauce.”</p><p>Mabel gasped, putting on her best announcer voice. “And that is Dipper Pines, the first to be out of the game of the Pines Proprietorship Tournament!”</p><p>Dipper sighed. “This sucks.”</p><p>“If you want, I’ll let you off of the rent. You just have to…”</p><p>Pacifica made a display of her thinking to herself as he sat in torment, waiting for the inevitable jab or tease she’d present before his Grunkles and sister.</p><p>“Is this gonna be family friendly?” Stan chimed in. “I know what you teenagers are like.”</p><p>“Ewww, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel laughed, punching the older man in the arm. “Hurry up, Paz!”</p><p>“<em>Pacifica</em>. And I want an extra ten minutes in the bathroom every morning.”</p><p>Dipper frowned. “I need that time.”</p><p>“For what, listening to Babba?” Pacifica chuckled. “I need it for my make up.”</p><p>“I need it to cover the bathroom in bubbles!” Mabel protested. “And to see what happens if I mix the shower gels together!”</p><p>“Well, take it or leave it, Dip.” Pacifica grinned, tapping her nail on the pewter top hat. “I don’t have all day.”</p><p>“I don’t even know why we play this!” Dipper whined. “What about Dungeons? Or, like, anything else?”</p><p>“Do I look like a nerd?” his girlfriend scoffed.</p><p>“Said the level 100 Deathcaster.” Ford put in from behind his newspaper – the scientist’s usual tactic to get out of family bonding time.</p><p>“Death<em>slayer</em>.”</p><p>“Aha! Thank you for proving my point.”</p><p>Pacifica laughed and rested her chin on her hand. A short debate regarding bathroom usage broke out, followed by Dipper resigning and accepting the plea deal. Mabel, meanwhile, had taken to painting the cat counter bubblegum pink and dumping six pots of glitter on it at once.</p><p>Paz watched her and smirked, remembering when she used to be able to have fun and be that… daft. It felt like she had never been so loose and carefree in her life right now, but Mabel’s level of sheer fun loving and excitement remained a point of… not contention. More a gentle envy, even with the entertainment value involved.</p><p>She poked Dipper’s leg with her foot under the table and winked. He was a sore loser and terrible for sulking when things didn’t go his way – at least, lately. Pacifica got the impression he was feeling a little down after their Bloodcraft escapades. Perhaps a side effect of being saved from a giant bird cage by two girls and an old man.</p><p>Dipper looked up at her and tried to maintain his scowl. Mabel then peeked out behind him and pulled a face, prompting a bout of laughter.</p><p>A whole world away from life with the Northwests. It was pure bliss.</p><p> </p><p>…even if the Pig was now eating the bank.</p><p>“Hey! HEY!” Stan shouted, grabbing the pudgy pink critter. “Get away from the Bank of Stanley! You’ve already eaten half of the cash!”</p><p>“Aww!” Mabel grinned. “He thinks he’s the United States Army! Am I right? <em>Am I right?!</em>... Man, you guys are lame. I’m <em>born</em> for stand up comedy.”</p><p>“I thought it was pretty funny.”</p><p>“Whoa, Pacifica Northwest likes my jokes!” Mabel beamed, nudging her. “I am on fire!”</p><p>The peaceful hours of board game arguments continued, the family’s natural inclination for banter and teasing providing a humorous soundtrack to the proceedings. Even if the game itself didn’t provide much in the way of fun, it was hard for even Dipper to not enjoy spending time with his loved ones.</p><p>In the end, though, Pacifica thrashed the lot of them in style, and made no small show of it.</p><p> </p><p>Her celebration was cut short by an excitable Soos demanding the family gather themselves in the gift shop for a presentation and some celebratory cheesy fries. They did as they were told, and found themselves in front of a flipchart in a circle of folding chairs.</p><p>It felt like some sort of board room. Thoroughly unSoosesque. .</p><p>“Dudes, you won’t believe this.” He grinned, his arm firmly around Melody’s waist.</p><p>“The uh… meeting went well, huh?” Dipper ventured.</p><p>An excited Soos could, at times, be an equal concern as it could be a positive. He was fairly easy to trick into somebody else’s point of view. A good businessman he was not; a good Mr. Mystery, sure, but he wasn’t a ruthless conman like his predecessor. He didn’t have the benefit of a life’s worth of cynicism and frustration – nor the essential motivation of repairing a giant dimension portal in the basement, for that matter.</p><p>“Dude, these meetings are awesome. We even got burritos.” Soos adjusted his fez and presented the first sheet of the flip pad. “tadaaaa!”</p><p>The piece of paper featured a somewhat crudely drawn line around the forest nearby the Mystery Shack, written up as “The Awesome Express”. A selection of train diagrams – with flame jobs, of course - uniform drawings and hefty price tags followed.</p><p>“The Mystery Shack is going to have its very own train ride!”</p><p>The group fell silent. Wendy looked to Dipper, who looked to Mabel, who looked to Stan, who looked to Ford.</p><p>Pacifica narrowed her eyes somewhat towards Wendy. Why wasn’t anyone looking at <em>her</em>?</p><p>Melody twisted her lip. “We are?”</p><p>“We totally are, dude. There’s a place down the state that has one and it is <em>awesome</em>.”</p><p>“You’ve never been down the state.”</p><p>“Melody, I have it on good authority it’s one of the best things <em>ever</em>.”</p><p>Stanley’s mind was already going over the potential. Always turn to a conman to see if an idea is profitable – that was practically the rule on premises.</p><p>“Five bucks a ticket, ten bucks for high season. New merchandise. Hire it out for weddings…” The wry old man broke into a grin, giving his knee a slap. “That’s great idea, Soos. Not bad. But uh… how much will it cost ya?”</p><p>Soos scratched under his arm. “I can get it for about fifty thou.”</p><p>Things fell silent. Again.</p><p>Wendy looked to Dipper, who looked to Mabel, who looked to Stan, who looked to Ford.</p><p>Pacifica glared.</p><p>“Whatchasay?” Stan winced. “Fifty thou? Like uh… like dollars or uh- is my hearing aid playin’ up?”</p><p>“We aren’t that profitable, honey.” Melody grimaced, looking over the flip chart. “I like the idea, but uh…we can’t afford it.”</p><p>“That’s the cool bit, Melody! The train will be sponsored by OregCo!”</p><p>Melody blinked and adjusted her hair as she processed her fiancé’s revelation. “Soos… why would a <em>gasoline company</em> want to sponsor the Shack?”</p><p>“They’re gonna build a gas station in the forest next to our turnout.” Soos beamed, hands on his hips.</p><p>“Oh boy. Here we go.” Wendy sighed. “Here comes the multi nationals tearing up the town. That’s what the meeting was about?”</p><p>“I don’t think the animals will like a gas station.” Mabel put in. “They don’t even have cars.”</p><p>“Wendy, there is <em>nothing</em> wrong with big business. Big business brings in big results!”</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica twitched. “Wait. What did you just say?”</p><p>“Sorry dude. Big business brings in big results!”</p><p>Her eyes widened. That sentence felt a little bit too familiar. “That’s something my <em>Dad</em> says.”</p><p>“Mr. Northwest is the new head of GETEM! He brought up the idea and made the phonecall, girl-bro. Like, I wasn’t sure about the dude, but he’s been <em>super</em> helpful.”</p><p>Pacifica and Dipper buried their heads in their hands.</p><p>“He explained it, dude – the gas station will have lots of customers, see, loads of people will turn in to fill up, and they’ll see the Shack across the road and figure they can spend a few hours. Then, they spend money with us, ride our train, buy a t-shirt and go back to the car!”</p><p>Ford leaned forward and furrowed his brow. “You can<em>not</em> allow the Northwests to take a business interest, Zeu-uh, Soos. These big companies aren’t looking to help you. They’re looking to expand. Next there’ll be fast food restaurants and big lumber companies.”</p><p>Soos gave a sheepish grin and tapped his fingers together. “N-na, dude, I mean… maybe one or two.”</p><p>Ford raised an eyebrow. “Soos, you should tell us exactly what happened at this meeting.”</p><p>Soos pulled on his collar as the entire family seemed to stare right down to the bottom of him.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Morning at Greasy's</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>It was 7AM, and Pacifica walked into Greasy’s Diner with a face like thunder, clicking her order pen and clutching her notepad furiously. The diner was yet to open, leaving it quiet and clean, awaiting the first of the morning’s customers.</p><p>As ever, apart from the odd runaway wildlife or the sizzle of bacon, the morning hours in the diner were, by far, Pacifica’s favourite. They felt welcoming and serene, the whiff of freshly brewed coffee and frying meat was like a <em>tonic</em> for a bad mood.</p><p>Susan stood happily behind the counter, cleaning the surfaces with a warm style and a spring in her step, gently humming whatever 1980s pop tune she had largely forgotten.</p><p>Right now, Pacifica was not in the mood to appreciate any of the happier aspects that Greasy’s Diner provided on a morning.</p><p>Right now, Pacifica was seriously close to losing her patience with all of it.</p><p> </p><p>“Susan. A word.”</p><p>“Oh boy, Pacifica, do I have news for youuu!” Susan grinned, clapping her hands. “We’ve got another sponsorship!”</p><p>“I know. You need to pull the plug.” Pacifica sighed, picking up the broom and beginning to sweep the floor – as was her standard duty first thing on a morning.</p><p>“Pacifica, we could finally expand into new territories!” Susan beamed, polishing up the coffee maker. “My papa built this place and always dreamed of a second carriage – or a franchise. McBurger will bring tons of new business!... Did you just say we need to pull the plug?”</p><p>Susan’s face dropped as her rag fell to her side. She always took Pacifica’s views on things pretty seriously. Perhaps out of a newfound respect, or just due to a subconscious knowledge of her own incompetence.</p><p>“Susan, seriously, there’s no way this will benefit us! They’ll take business <em>away</em>, even if our sign has their logo and they pay for a refurb!”</p><p>Susan attempted to listen intently and twisted her lip, scratching her head in well meaning but absolutely absentminded confusion. “That’s not how Mr. Northwest explained it.”</p><p>“My Dad isn’t a trustworthy source!” Pacifica snapped, throwing her notepad on the table. “He’s the opposite, Susan! Don’t you get it?!”</p><p>“I think we need to be welcoming, Pacifica.” Susan protested, her hand on her hip and her finger giving a cautionary wiggle. “The people I spoke to on the telephone were lovely. The Greasy’s welcome should be for <em>everyone</em>.”</p><p>“We’re plenty welcoming. You need to be more careful about who you welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly the entire railroad wagon began to shake and vibrate, sending a pile of plates in the kitchen crashing down onto the floor. The hammering of a pneumatic drill from across the lot felt substantial enough to shake out their teeth, the incessant drilling bringing on an almost instant migraine.</p><p>“Wh-what the-“</p><p>“Oh, I guess they’re starting work already. These companies move fast!”</p><p>Pacifica ran to the window to see a construction site already underway for the new McBurger restaurant; complete with chain link fence, heavy industrial equipment and pre-fabricated components being pulled up by cranes and burly men in hard hats.</p><p>“I guess I should have noticed that…” Pacifica cringed. Probably her own fault for spending time reading texts from Dipper instead of watching her surroundings.</p><p>What in Gravity Falls ever changed, though? Except, y’know, for this. And the stuff last summer.</p><p>Screw it, she knew what she meant.</p><p>“They say it’s going to be a drive thru! Isn’t that a funny idea? People drive in, take their food and leave!”</p><p>“Exactly. So they won’t park up here. Seriously, Suse, this is bad. Why would visitors get out of their cars if they can pick up and eat food inside them? Why would they visit us when there’s a burger place next door that doesn’t even need them to turn off the engine?!”</p><p>The penny finally dropped in Lazy Susan’s mind.</p><p>“Oh. That’s right.”</p><p>The older woman looked back out at the construction site, where the first parts of the building were already being erected.</p><p>“…You think it’s too late to cancel the contract?”</p><p>Pacifica held her head in her hands and groaned. “I think it’s too late to fix any of this now, Susan. I think the town is as good as done for.”</p><p>“B-but Preston said-“</p><p>“-Big business brings big results. And it does. Just not for people like you.”</p><p> </p><p>Across the road, the newly built construction office was already aplomb with money changing hands and men in suits swapping businesscards.</p><p>Preston smiled as he welcomed Frank Catt to the table – a particularly well rounded individual  of only sixteen court cases of fraud, bribery and corruption. Catt was a fast food franchisee with sixteen restaurants across the state; an ageing hippy-age businessman with a well greased ponytail and a goatee beard that hid three chins. </p><p>The smell of hair oil and clove cigarettes infested the nostrils of everybody within three metres of him. He was clearly a chap well acquainted with fake everything. Fake tan, fake toupees for his chest, fake teeth and fake branded shoes with ridiculous pointed toes and chunky block heels.</p><p>He was also barely more than half of Preston’s height and liked to match up his suit with the tackiest, most unpleasant Hawaiian shirts this side of the Southern States.</p><p>“So nice to see you.” Preston beamed in his usual insincere grin – the sort that looked like he was suffering from a constant, impervious bout of constipation.</p><p>“Hey there, Prestie. Been a long time since we’ve done business.” Grinned the little man with his artificially whitened teeth. “Finally staging the takeover, huh?”</p><p>“Well, the time is ripe, the fruits are ready for picking. Just got to concrete over the hicks and you’ll be making millions off of the back of it.” Preston smirked. “Look at the natural beauty out here, Frank. Look at the waterfalls, the forests, the cliffs…”</p><p>“All ideal for us to take advantage of.” Hank laughed, out loud. Obnoxiously. “And there’s nothing we should know about the real estate here?”</p><p>“No, no.” Preston replied, once again giving an insincere grin. “Nothing unusual happens here.”</p><p>He crossed his fingers behind his back. After all; what was the chance of the town’s weirdness hurting anything here? Surely the idiot tourists would lap it up.</p><p>All with generous finders’ fees for the Northwest family.</p><p>All through suppliers from the Northwest family.</p><p>All providing <em>profit</em> for the Northwest family.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Inner Capitalist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>It was fair to say that the Northwest Family was fantastic at finding loopholes. While they may not have been the true founders of Gravity Falls, it couldn’t be denied they had built and serviced much of it.</p><p>Sort of.</p><p>Certainly, the majority was to serve <em>themselves</em>, but they had snapped up just about every piece of land the town was built on the moment the family had received any power, and had spent some one hundred years raking in the endless rents and purchase prices for just about every backwater piece of turf the people had dumped their lives onto.</p><p><em>Northwest Mudflaps</em> was all well and good, as was the ever-thriving <em>Northwest Weather Vane Company</em>, but one of the biggest profits was always from <strong><em>Northwest Realty.</em></strong></p><p>Thousands of dollars, every month, because so many of townsfolk were too damned stupid to realise they could buy their own properties. Those that bought land would do so from the likes of graveyards, slurry pits and forests that were so chock full of weirdness and bizarre phenomena that the company would make profit from land that was utterly useless.</p><p>Now, though – now Preston was a man so affronted and indignant that he was pulling out the stops. He was no longer keeping his patience or what little moral composure he had. Now it was a case of hostile takeover; and he had no qualms about playing dirty.</p><p>All it took was townspeople’s approval. All it took was getting the mayor to sign it off, get sponsorship contrasts signed off… and voila. Preston Northwest could now open the gates to bigger companies with bigger wallets, paying through the nose for prime real estate, located miles away from their rivals. A guarantee of captive audience and a generous tourist trade.</p><p>He could even do it while appearing as a friend to the people of Gravity Falls. He could do it while <em>helping</em> his community.</p><p>It was a piece of cake; a towering, delicious moist slice of red velvet cake topped with pure Devonshire cream cheese icing and real gold leaf flecks.</p><p>Something that Preston would soon be able to afford again.</p><p>Then what? Well, his marriage will be back into order, no doubt his daughter will come running back, and even better, the hicks will go out of business. No more Diner, no more Shack, no more Corduroys. Finally he’d be in charge again; back in control, as he should be, and be able to get rid of those who interfered peacefully.</p><p>If he earned enough he might even be able to get his damned house back from the hillbilly-hippy that now lived there playing the banjo.</p><p>Ugh.</p><p>He was, in his mind, seeking nothing more than a return to the natural way of things. There was no way he could allow this period of diminished power to continue. He was raised to believe in one constant; The Northwest always won. That was their role. It was the reason they were they are today!</p><p>Not where they are <em>now</em>, but where they were before last summer.</p><p>Oh, to hell with it. He knew what he meant.</p><p>Sure, it meant dealing with the likes of Frank McCatt, who wasn’t exactly the sort of company he <em>enjoyed</em> sharing contracts and profits with. But he figured dealing with the smell of clove cigarettes and a constant mid life crisis was a small price to pay for results he would get.</p><p>The Diner, after all, was a place that particularly bothered Preston. He had made the odd hollow gesture since its reopening – even given them the land for free – to try and convince his daughter he wasn’t some kind of evil, moustache twirling villain.</p><p>He tweaked his moustache when he thought. That’s all.</p><p>That was <em>different</em>.</p><p>But still Pacifica insisted on working there almost every day. Still she was earning her own money. He hadn’t seen much in the way of transactions on her family credit card in <em>months. </em>She was using her wage. Her <em>wage</em>. His daughter was a <em>wage slave</em>!</p><p>His daughter was probably running around with her friends through the forest, where all manner of terrors could be. His daughter was no longer preening herself to perfection for pageants and competitions, no longer in golf championships – there was even some talking about her going to a normal school. Or living with the Pines permanently.</p><p>That wouldn’t do. He – or,  at least, his staff - knew everything about his daughter, everything about what she needed, wanted, had and craved – yet now, now she was throwing that all up into the air.</p><p>That niggled him on a deep level.</p><p>He wasn’t some control freak. Oh no; he and his wife may have commanded her schooling, and her wardrobe, and social circle, and schedule, and lifestyle, but they weren’t control freaks. They just kept her safe. They kept her comfortable and happy, as it should be for a wealthy socialite.</p><p>And then, of course, his thoughts turned to that Shack in the forest. Where Pacifica now lived.</p><p>The Pines.</p><p>Oh yes, <em>The Pines.</em></p><p>That was a family he would dearly love to see out of the picture.</p><p>He had never liked the Pines as it stood – but now, he despised the lot of them. They had the gall to force their daughter to open the mansion gates, had ruined her photoshoots, had started her interest in a career, had taken the journals from him, and beaten him for nothing!</p><p>Mostly nothing.</p><p>Dependent on your moral compass. But he was <em>rich</em>. He had a right to skew that somewhat.</p><p>And then there was the boy. Dipper Pines. The little brat that had the gall to <em>kiss</em> his daughter, <em>date</em> his daughter, <em>love his daughter</em>! That wasn’t in their plan for Pacifica and she knew it. He had planned a lovely business wedding when she hit 22. A lovely agreement with McCatt’s son, Brutus.</p><p>Brutus wasn’t the nicest, best looking or friendliest chap but he had money and a controlling interest in the McCatt franchises!</p><p>And then Pacifica goes and runs off to the little brat who isn’t even wearing his own <strong><em>hat</em></strong>!</p><p>Pah!</p><p>He wanted that Shack wiped out. The thought of it brought a feeling of nausea. Sure, he owned a toy plaidypus and the odd cap or t-shirt from his last visit, and he did like the Question Quail – but that hovel was no longer welcome in his town.</p><p>The gas station would make sure of it – add some tacky souvenir shops, an overpriced convenience store and a coffee shop and people would spend hours there. He’d seen it happen. It didn’t even have to seem like a potential rival, it just had to distract people from that little log cabin.</p><p>Genius. Even if he did say so himself.</p><p>The town wouldn’t know what hit it. No paranormal nonsense - <em>that</em> clearly hadn’t worked. No, he had tried taking the Pines on at their own game. This time it was fighting them with <em>his</em> game. It was <em>business</em>.</p><p>Wonderful, manipulative, corporate <em>business</em>.</p><p>Big business brings big results, alright. And Preston would take <em>that</em> to the bank.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Planning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Ford and Dipper were the first to smell a rat - and the first to start planning. Deep in the bowels of the shack – though Dipper hated using that term – they were already trying to work out a game plan, should everything inevitably go wrong. They had spent enough time in this town, after all, to be well aware that everything will.</p><p>Dipper loved planning with his Grunkle. Coming up with plans remained one of his favourite hobbies. Charts, paperwork, red string - All he needed was to make a few lists and he’d be <em>set</em>.</p><p>The two piled themselves under cue cards, index cards, note cards and birthday cards – wait, how did they get there? – And started trying to pull apart what Northwest Industries was planning.</p><p> </p><p>“So, four big companies are arriving into the town,” Stanford muttered. “And the independent businesses they’re threatening have all been fooled into accepting it, by having new shiny things with logos on them.”</p><p>“That about sums it up.” Dipper chewed on his pencil absently. “They’ve all been fooled.”</p><p>“But they’ve been fooled <em>legally</em>.” Ford snarled, sitting down in his chair and taking the boot off of his wooden prosthetic. “They’ve signed it, and signed it happily.”</p><p>He started pinning up pieces of paper into the age old routine of conspiracy boards. “McBurger, OregCo – those are the two we know, and they all link back to the Northwest Company.”</p><p>“And he owns the land.”</p><p>“<em>And he owns the land</em>, so he profits from the rents and from co-founding the franchises.”</p><p>“And he has stocks in them.”</p><p>“He has? Wait, do you have the financial newspaper?”</p><p>“I have the internet, Grunkle Ford. I Googled it.”</p><p>“<em>Brilliant</em>.”</p><p>Ford slapped Dipper’s back proudly and added the information up to the board and adjusted his glasses, stepping back to admire the web of pinned notes, photographs and copious amounts of red string.</p><p>“So all in all, we can beat the Northwest coup by…”</p><p>Dipper raised an eyebrow. “…We can’t.”</p><p>His Grunkle slumped back into his chair, deflated. “We can’t. It’s all completely legal and above board, it’s all contractual, it’s all fair game.”</p><p>“I can’t believe Soos has done this.” Dipper groaned, holding his head in his hands. “He <em>knows</em> the Northwests can’t be trusted! He <em>knows</em> what Preston is like!”</p><p>“Dipper, the Northwest Family is an age old tale. Every town has Northwests. You can’t judge him that harshly. He’s not the brightest man.”</p><p>“But <em>Grunkle Stan</em> would never-“</p><p>“He would. For more money. He’d see the con from a mile away, but he’d know how to <em>profit</em> from it.”</p><p>Dipper felt hopeless. He loved the Shack, for everything he equally hated about it. He loved the town, for all that the stupidity irritated him. He loved Soos, for all of the trouble he caused accidentally.</p><p>He didn’t really want everywhere in Gravity Falls to homogenise; to become part of the 21<sup>st</sup> century. It was the tatty, tacky rustic feel of the place that made the town so…oddly endearing. He couldn’t believe he was saying it, but he was worried about the place; about what it might become under the hands of weird dudes with ponytails, cellphones and briefcases.</p><p>More than anything else though, he was worried about <em>Pacifica</em>. She mattered more to him than some log cabin or weird little town in Oregon.</p><p>Was that selfish?</p><p>The last thing his girlfriend needed was her Dad being everywhere again. For her name to have <em>that</em> sort of connotation again. To have the Diner taken away again could be enough to break her. He wasn’t willing to let anyone mess with his family – but they, he reasoned, could at least handle themselves too.</p><p>He wasn’t sure how much Pacifica could go up against her own flesh and blood. Sure, he had been impressed by her since they’d gotten together – <em>and how</em> – but this wasn’t a game anymore. This was something <em>kids</em> couldn’t really go up against.               </p><p>Which was kinda weird. Sure, kids can go up against the supernatural and win, but up against big businesses and rich people? No way.</p><p>Her family might be ruthless, arrogant, mean spirited and manipulative, but they were smart, and they knew her inside out. He wasn’t sure if he could bear to see her hurt, or bullied, or at risk again. What if they force her to come home by closing the shack and the diner, by taking away her only places of refuge?</p><p>In his mind, Pacifica was still like the damsel to his chiseled hero.</p><p>Or in his fantasies.</p><p>They were <em>basically</em> the same thing.</p><p>Part of Dipper’s mind was certain this was just Preston Northwest’s petty revenge against the Pines and Greasy’s Diner for ‘taking’ Pacifica.</p><p>In fact… no. Erase that.</p><p><em>All of</em> Dipper’s mind was certain.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Soos vs Contracts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica returned to the shack at 6PM, her hair a mess, her apron stained and her face still like thunder. It had been a busy day at the Diner – as per – but this time it was different. Everybody was talking about the place opening across the street.</p><p>Everybody was talking about how great it was to see some new businesses.</p><p>Everyone was talking about how the Northwest Family was going to revolutionise the town and improve it for everyone.</p><p>It felt uncannily familiar, and Pacifica <em>hated it.</em></p><p>Worse, even the shack – her refuge, her new home – was being subject to all… this.</p><p>She sat on the stairs and sighed as she took off her shoes.</p><p>“Hey, Paz.” Mabel sat down next to her gingerly. “You uh… look a bit down. And tired.”</p><p>“You look like you’ve been hit a truck.” Stan chimed in from his armchair.</p><p>“Heh. Thanks.” Pacifica rolled her eyes, touching the bags under her eyes and sighing. “Yeah. Guess I am. Dad’s up to something and this time we can’t really do anything about it.”</p><p>“It can’t be all bad, right?” Mabel tried to put on her best reassuring smile. “Soos is getting a train!”</p><p>“Paid for by a gas station that’ll take all his business.” Pacifica replied, curtly. “It stinks, Mabel.”</p><p>“Yeah. I guess it does.” Mabel looked down at her feet, tapping her shoes together. “And I don’t think Soos gets why.”</p><p>“Well, how can you break it to him? Soos is about the most trusting  person in town.” Pacifica held her head in his hands. “Of course he doesn’t get it.”</p><p>“Dipper is with Ford trying to work out a plan too. I don’t think it’s working too well.”</p><p>“Of course it isn’t. Business isn’t about being smart, it’s about having money.”</p><p>“You have money!”</p><p>“Not more money than Dad. What, we can maybe set up a luxury lemonade stand or sell Belgian chocolates? We can’t take these guys on with my credit cards, Mabel.”</p><p>Mabel wasn’t too sure what to do with herself. She wasn’t really equipped to cheer up a depressed Pacifica. What cheered up a Pacifica?</p><p>“Kids, you want to get a company out of town, you chase them out of town.” Stan called from the living room. “Get the pitchforks ready, that kind of thing. Conjure up some story about causing rashes.”</p><p>“Your door to door salesman stuff isn’t the same thing as a fast food restaurant, Mr. Pines.”</p><p>“’Course it is, Blondie. Shove a mouse in the fryer or something and people will chase them right out. Especially if it’s a vegan meal.”</p><p> </p><p>Ford and Dipper finally emerged from the basement looking like they hadn’t slept for a week. Pretty good going for a couple of hours of strategy and planning.</p><p>“Dippy, your girlfriend’s home. How’s it goin’, Sixer?”</p><p>Ford rubbed his temples and watched as Dipper held Pacifica tightly, their hands linking together as they exchanged tired smiles. “Not good. The contract Soos signed is watertight.”</p><p>“Never liked contracts.” Stan grumbled. “Promise never to launch a rocket, promise not to smuggle pugs, promise not to set fire to a Columbian estate…”</p><p>“A plea deal isn’t quite the same thing, Stanley. But point taken.”</p><p>The feeling of resignation had been pretty sudden. It wasn’t like the Pines family to start accepting defeat so early on, but what could they be expected to do?</p><p>It already felt hopeless. People had, quite literally, signed their livelihoods away.</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica felt like tears were coming to her eyes as she tightly embraced Dipper, burying her head in his shoulder. It made Mabel squeal, and Dipper go a bright red, but she just didn’t care.</p><p>Even if it did mean him tensing up like a plank of wood. The dummy.</p><p>This was <em>her fault</em>. Her dad was punishing the entire town for <em>her</em> disobedience. Her father was officially the villain – the new Gideon. The new…</p><p>The new Bill.</p><p>…Jeez.</p><p>This wasn’t an assault from a crazy video game, this wasn’t a lumberjack out for revenge. It was a hostile takeover of everything she knew, and it had already started, waged with pieces of paper and suitcases full of money.</p><p>Pacifica never, ever thought she’d say it, but right now she <em>hated</em> money, she <em>hated</em> her Dad being rich and she <em>hated</em> the fact she’d had any part of her family.</p><p>She gripped Dipper tighter and tried to stop herself crying.</p><p>Dipper rubbed her back awkwardly. “We’ll…we’ll think of something, Pacifica.”</p><p>“What? What can we think of, Dip? It’s hopeless. I know these things of people.”</p><p>Dipper looked to Mabel, who only shrugged in response.</p><p>The family fell quiet, everybody trying to think of their own solutions.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Dudes, guess what!” Soos beamed, strutting into the lounge with one hand on his cane.</p><p>They all looked up to him, Pacifica hurriedly wiping her eyes before anyone noticed.</p><p>Soos was not the most observant fellow – that was for sure – but he was able to compute when people weren’t happy. Perhaps it was the blonde girl crying, or Stan’s tired eyes, or Dipper barely being able to look at him, but <em>something</em> told Soos he had done <em>something</em> wrong.</p><p>“Uh… wow, Dudes, you all okay?”</p><p>“You need to cancel the contract, Soos.” Dipper started, curtly. “If you don’t, the Shack is as good as done for. Don’t you care about this place?”</p><p>“Bro, I love this place! That’s why I signed, dude! We’ll have a train, new exhibitions, and all we need is to stick a few logo stickers on the signs!” He looked to Stan for validation. “Think of the profits, right Mr. Pines?”</p><p>“I uh… I dunno, Soos.”</p><p>Stan scratched his head awkwardly as Soos’s face dropped.</p><p>“I mean, they’ve started work on a fast food joint across from the diner already. What’s stoppin’ ‘em from building their own Shack?”</p><p>“Mr. Northwest said they would support us!” Soos spluttered. “I got this in the bag!”</p><p>Ford grimaced. “Is it in your contract that this won’t risk your business? Is it in your contract that they’ll support you?”</p><p>“I… I mean.” Soos tugged on his collar. “I guess.”</p><p>“Did you <em>read</em> the contract?”</p><p>“<em>Never</em> read the contract, dog.” Soos replied, matter of factly.</p><p>“Who told you that?”</p><p>“Mr. Northw-…” </p><p>The coin dropped.</p><p>“Dudes. Like, I’m seeing some bad faces here. Like, do you think this is… bad?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Tyson</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Enter Horace Tyson; chief assistant to the assistant chief executive for OregCo. Horace arrived at 6AM on the Gopher Road turn out, with a long line of heavy machinery, cranes, loggers and more behind him – each more rugged and unpleasant to the eyes than the last.</p><p>Horace was tall. Tall and wiry, with oversized glasses, bucked teeth, dark skin and a rapidly receding hairline, all tucked neatly into bright plaid suit and stripy tie, with a Bluetooth headset attached to his ear and his eyes darting across the horizon no matter where he was, or who he was speaking to.</p><p>Horace had never heard of the Mystery Shack, and he didn’t care. This gas station was p<em>rime real estate</em>. Cut down a few trees, dig up some dirt, lay some tarmac and he had a perfect location. Sure, he had to fling a bit of spare change at some redneck tourist trap across the road, give them some stickers and he might have to…</p><p>Ugh.</p><p>He might have to <em>shake hands </em>with a few of them.</p><p>But it would be worth it. How much could a gas station make out here? He almost salivated at the prospect – the nearest one was miles away, and the alternative was buying a jerry can from the middle of that dirty little town down the hill.</p><p>And he’d have coffee. Coffee and rotisserie style chicken for a couple of dollars.</p><p>Oh yes, OregCo would make a <em>killing</em> out here.</p><p>He looked over the plans as he sipped his artisan macchiato with oat milk and imagined that beautiful structure of concrete, steel and mediocre grade plywood, bursting out of the ground.</p><p>My god it was beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>Oh no, is that a car? He knew that car. <em>Oh, fantastic. Just what I need at 6AM in the morning-</em></p><p>Preston beamed as he climbed out of his Rolls Royce. “Horace! Horsey Horace, it’s been years!”</p><p>Ugh. Northwest. He <em>hated</em> the man. A long streak of misery with a terrible moustache who somehow prided himself of being the king of this little blot on the landscape.</p><p>He hated, hated <em>hated</em>-</p><p>“Preston! Oh it’s so nice to see you! You look great!”</p><p>“Always hard to look better than you, Horsey. Neat, tidy and perfect as ever, eh?”</p><p><em>Definitely tidier than you, Preston, you rotten little-</em> “Well, I have to make an effort, even out here. So this uh… this Zeus guy, he’s signed it all off huh?”</p><p>“Oh yes, he doesn’t suspect a thing. You’ve got full clearance to set up shop. Ha!”</p><p>“Great, great. Should I meet the guy?”</p><p>“Forget about it, Horsey. Get your workers in order – people around these parts aren’t awake until ten. I’ll see you at the house for dinner, I hope?”</p><p>“Sure, sure-“ <em>ugh, I’d rather pour acid down my-</em> “Is it the same mansion?”</p><p>Preston’s moustache twitched. “Oh uh, no, not anymore. We’re on a more <em>modern</em> premises now.”</p><p>Horace smirked as Preston gave him the details of a building scarcely over four stories in the middle of a barely wealthy residential district.</p><p>So, that was the Northwest’s plan? He wanted to get his favour back here, take over the town again and make profit from rents? Fine with him. Preston gets his little water hole in the middle of the North West armpit, while Horace can go back to his luxury apartment in Malibu, answering phone calls from more distinguished company.</p><p>Oh yes, that suited him to the ground. He’ll pay whatever Preston wants, not a bother – so long as OregCo gets their gas station, he gets his bonus and they get their profits.</p><p>Even if he does have to be in the middle of roadkill county detailing with mosquitoes and Preston Northwest and-</p><p>Was that a little man in a pointy hat?</p><p>Ugh, not his problem.</p><p>“Let’s get on with it. Start the chainsaws.”</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica jarred awake and peeked out of the window as the first of the big pines near the highway fell.</p><p>“Mabel! Mabel! They’re here!”</p><p>“Puppy Aliens…?”</p><p>“No! They aren’t pu…” Pacifica blinked as she suddenly realized what Mabel had said. “No, Mabel. The people building the gas station. They’re cutting trees down!”</p><p>Mabel yawned and stretched as she sat on the edge of her bed. “So?”</p><p>“So we need to do <em>something</em>!”</p><p>“You said we can’t do <em>anything</em>.”</p><p>“But we should at least <em>try!</em>”</p><p>There was a knock at the bedroom door. “Hey kids. You two awake? I’m thinking some petty vandalism.”</p><p>Pacifica and Mabel both grinned.</p><p>Grunkle Stan <em>always</em> had the best solutions.</p><p> </p><p>They hurriedly got ready and armed themselves with just about every uneaten vegetable – and that wasn’t an insubstantial number – in the shack’s kitchen.</p><p>Dipper, Pacifica, Mabel and Stan were soon making their way to the construction site to commence the greatest food fight wars ever witnessed in Oregon.</p><p>At least, the greatest since the great post-prohibition pancake battle of 1933.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Ice Box Avalanche?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p>
<p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p>
<p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p>
<p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blubs and Durland sat in their cruiser going about their daily slog. Police work was hard.</p>
<p>“Yellow car!”</p>
<p>Blubs tallied it down in the fortieth page of their ticket book. “Damn. You take yellow car as your choice for weeks, then the one day you don’t take ‘em, you get seventeen in one mornin’.”</p>
<p>“Ah’m sorry, Blubs. Guess I’m just lucky.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologise for good luck, Durland. Maybe you’ll get us an extra sauce packet with our buffalo fries.”</p>
<p>“You really think so?” Durland gasped, holding his cheeks.</p>
<p>“With you as my good luck charm, anythin’ can happen.” Blubs grinned, wrapping an arm around his deputy.</p>
<p>Durland smiled and looked out of the window. “You heard about the big city folks comin’ in?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Think they own the place already. Who’s ever heard of a drive through <em>burger joint</em>? Those things are for tacos, buffalo fries and donuts <em>only</em>.”</p>
<p>“I just can’t make sense of it.”</p>
<p>Blubs sipped his coffee and sighed. “The world’s changin’, Durland. Scary times we live in.”</p>
<p>The radio crackled – <strong><em>All officers be on the look out for three children and one scary old man,  throwing vegetables at the OregCo construction site, Gopher Road Turnout. Over.</em></strong></p>
<p>The two looked at eachother, then sat back.</p>
<p>“Well, thank goodness that’s over.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Preston smiled as he watched McCatt’s construction site slowly developing across the street from Greasy’s Diner. He had personally made sure the planning application went through – for a price – and had personally provided much of the materials. Again – for a price.</p>
<p>It was already a fine little money earner, and he was overjoyed to see the plan running through so happily.</p>
<p>Even better, he hadn’t seen his daughter head to the diner for work. Perhaps she was already getting the message.</p>
<p>Oh yes, it was all setting into place beautifully for Preston Northwest. He was, for the first time in quite a while, feeling content. Feeling proud to be a Northwest again. It was like things were settling back into their natural order.</p>
<p>What could <em>possibly</em> go wrong?</p>
<p>His cellphone started ringing just as he was about to eat his breakfast pheasant sandwich.</p>
<p>“Horsey? How are things?”</p>
<p>“You promised me this would be <em>easy</em>, Northwest!”</p>
<p>“Eh? What’s happened?”</p>
<p>“My entire team have been pelted with celery, Preston. Celery, tomatoes, eggs – eggs aren’t even a <em>vegetable</em>, Preston. I’m meant to be a <em>Vegan </em>for the <em>press</em>, and I’m covered in egg!”</p>
<p>“Slow down there, Horsey.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you <em>Horsey</em> me! My construction manager is covered in rotten lettuce! <em>Lettuce</em>, Preston! We aren’t meant to fight people, we’re meant to bribe people to get these things done, not hide from a- from a- from an <em>icebox avalanche</em>!”</p>
<p>“It’s a freak occurrence. Probably some minor street thugs.”</p>
<p>“It’s a <em>freak</em> occurrence alright! If any more of your town’s <em>freaks</em> come throwing veggies at us, I’ll pull out of this backwater myself. Do you get the message?!”</p>
<p>“I get the message.” Preston held the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I’ll catch the people involved.”</p>
<p>“I want them <em>behind bars</em>, Preston! Do you understand me?”</p>
<p>“For throwing vegetables?”</p>
<p>“<strong><em>Bars</em></strong>! Lock the scum up! Whoever they are!”</p>
<p>Horace paused and sighed.</p>
<p>“If I wasn’t on my cell, I’d slam the phone down. Just… just imagine that.”</p>
<p>Preston wiped his brow and watched as a tomato stained golfcart rattled up beside the diner, the occupants laughing and wiping themselves off with moist towelettes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That was awesome!” Pacifica laughed, adrenaline coursing through her. “They didn’t know what hit them!”</p>
<p>“Tellin’ ya, blondie. We do that every morning and they’ll leave in no time.” Stan grinned.</p>
<p>Dipper smiled widely. ”You got the eggs right on his suit!”</p>
<p>“Duh. Business people love their suits.” Pacifica smiled. “They <em>hate</em> getting them dirty.”</p>
<p>“I stuffed a stick of celery up his car’s exhaust pipe!” Mabel cheered.</p>
<p>“That’s my girl!” Stan laughed, ruffling Mabel’s hair. “Vehicular damage is always funny!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pacifica grabbed the rugsack with her uniform in it and adjusted her hair. “I’ll see you all tonight, okay?”</p>
<p>“Sure.” Dipper replied, wiping the last bit of tomato juice from his nose. “You were awesome.”</p>
<p>Pacifica paused, then grabbed Dipper into the tightest hug she could give and locked lips with him, holding him close against her and closing her eyes. Dipper was taken by surprise and let his arms fall uselessly besides him, before throwing them around her, both of them flushing a <em>fetching</em> shade of lobster.</p>
<p>Mabel immediately burst into a chorus of squeeing – while Stan pretended to wave to somebody across the street.</p>
<p>“All of you are awesome.” Pacifica said finally as he let go of her boyfriend, tapping Dipper’s nose and practically skipping into the Diner.</p>
<p>Dipper slumped back with a ridiculous, dopey smile on his face. He didn’t think he <em>ever</em> saw Pacifica as happy as she was when they were doing… Pines things.</p>
<p>Obviously he loved seeing her happy, but things like that – <em>that</em> was a pretty good motivation to keep her as happy as he could. A Northwest, pelting a big business construction crew?</p>
<p>This was <em>amazing</em>. Sure, things looked hopeless, sure they were fighting against something they could never beat, and sure he spent all last night getting increasingly stressed, but moments like this morning? He lived for it.</p>
<p>He also <em>seriously</em> needed to cool down.</p>
<p>Like, whoa.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A Northwest, pelting a big business construction crew?</p>
<p>A <em>Northwest</em>, pelting a big business construction crew?</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>A Northwest, pelting a big business construction crew?</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Preston felt like screaming. How dare she! How dare any of them!</p>
<p>That’s it. That was the last straw. He could take many slights – Preston was not a fragile man. He could take whatever the world threw at him. But this?</p>
<p>This?</p>
<p>This was simply too much.</p>
<p>Preston threw away his pheasant sandwich and adjusted his tie.</p>
<p>Time for him to try somewhere <em>new</em> for breakfast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Breakfast at Greasy's</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica had a broad smile on her face as she walked up to each of the tables and took the first orders of the day, her hair still slightly out of place. She watched happily as the battered little golf cart chugged away with her new family waving goodbye – and felt her face drop as, behind it, the construction crews were continuing their work.</p><p>Builders bustling about with power tools, drills, hammers and concrete, wiring and already placing pipes.</p><p>Builders that were practically <em>dooming</em> her beloved diner into closure.</p><p>…Then Stan reversed the golf cart into the fence and broke one of the window panes before driving off with the twins.</p><p>She chuckled and tried to keep a brave face as she went along the other tables.</p><p> </p><p>Preston already <em>hated</em> being here. The diner smelt of salt, grease and a lack of sophistication from wall-to-wall - uh - log to log. It felt cramped, it felt unpleasant and it felt like he was being <em>forced</em> to be close to the great unwashed.</p><p>The place was not familiar to him – he had set up a haunting here and knew his daughter worked here – but he was hardly the sort to be a regular patron of some filthy greasy spoon in the middle of town.</p><p>He cringed at the copious amounts of back hair, sweaty armpits and people chewing with their mouths open.</p><p>And he only cringed more when he saw his daughter, in some sort of pink, cotton waitress smock, walking towards him with a notepad.</p><p>This wasn’t right. It wasn’t natural. It wasn’t <em>human</em>.</p><p>“Welcome to Greasy’s. What can I get you today?”</p><p>Preston covered his face with the menu. “Just a coffee and some pancakes.”</p><p>“Sure thing, coming right up!”</p><p>“And an obedient daughter would be a nice change.” Without warning, Preston grabbed his daughter’s wrist and yanked her towards him. “How goes life as a vandal, Pacifica?”</p><p>Pacifica yelped in surprise and tried to fight him off.  “Dad, let go! You’re hurting me!”</p><p>“Hurting you? <em>Hurting you</em>?! How do you think <em>I</em> feel? You’ve ruined our name!”</p><p>“Our name shouldn’t mean <em>anything</em> compared to me being <em>happy</em>! I’m happier when I’m away from <em>you</em>!”</p><p>“You insolent little…”</p><p>There was a pause as Preston suddenly felt twenty pairs of eyes upon him, all piercing with no small amount of anger.</p><p>“…Lamb. My dear, I’m only trying to keep you on the straight and narrow-“</p><p>Susan put her hands on her hips and glared. “Mr. Northwest, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”</p><p>“B-but I-“</p><p>“Nobody is allowed to handle my staff like that.” Susan snapped. “Out.”</p><p>“She’s my daughter!”</p><p>“Not any more I’m not.” Pacifica snapped. “Dad, I’m not a Northwest anymore and I don’t want to<em> be</em> a Northwest anymore.”</p><p>“You can’t run away from the facts of life, Pacifica.” Preston snarled. “You’re never going to be anything <em>but</em> a Northwest. <em>Pacifica</em> is nothing. The <em>Northwests</em> are something.”</p><p>Wendy and her father were only a few feet away, sitting on stools and indulging in their usual breakfasts, when it had all started kicking off. Wendy and Manly Dan corduroy were now stood firmly behind Pacifica.</p><p>“This guy giving you trouble, Paz?” Wendy scowled and crossed her arms as her father’s shadow cast a fearful darkness upon the</p><p>Preston glared at Pacifica – who, after a momentary glance of fear… broke into a smirk.</p><p>“Yeah. I think we need to get rid of him.”</p><p>Dan wasted no time in plucking Preston out of his chair and carrying him to the door by his lapels, going nose-to-nose with the older, wealthier man and speaking – as close to <em>speaking</em> as he could get -through gritted teeth.<br/>
“<strong>I don’t like you, Northwest. I don’t like you, I don’t like your business buddies and I’ll <em>never</em> sign your contract. Get gone</strong>!”</p><p>Preston promptly found himself back in his car, trying to tidy himself up and calm his frittered nerves – not to mention simmer down his anger. He punched the dashboard and growled. This was embarrassing – this was personally insulting. This was getting to be a step too far.</p><p>His daughter just stood up to him, and did so in public.</p><p>His daughter just got him thrown out of some common, ratty diner made out of a <em>disembodied tree</em>.</p><p>After vandalising a construction site he had spent time and money organising for their family name’s benefit – and now she was trying to disown that proud, if …ethically complicated… Northwest heritage.</p><p>He had lost his temper - or at least, come close to losing his temper – in public. In front of the Diner’s patrons. He had been forced into losing his temper by his disobedient daughter, and now he looked bad.</p><p>Since when has a Northwest ever looked bad?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Pacifica hugged Wendy and smiled – though she was shaken up, pale and wide eyed. “You’re the best.”</p><p>“Hey, you’re not a rich brat anymore. You’re our friend, and for the Pines, you’re family. I’ve told you before; the whole town will look after you if you need them to. We aren’t monsters.”</p><p>The redhead gave a smug smile as Preston drove away – thoroughly embarrassed, dishevelled and angry.</p><p>“Your Dad isn’t a monster either. He’s just… a bit of a…”</p><p>“Control freak. I know.”</p><p>“Yeah. And a jerk. I mean, the way he grabbed you, the way he talks to people…”</p><p>Pacifica frowned and looked at the feint mark that Preston had left on her wrist. She was beginning to wonder how long her dad would be willing to deal with this stuff.</p><p>She knew better than <em>anyone</em> how ruthless a Northwest could be.</p><p>Lazy Susan refreshed Dan’s plate on the house and tapped her chin, deep in thought – prompting Wendy and Pacifica to both look up at her.</p><p>“Y’know, I’m beginning to wonder how trustworthy that Preston Northwest really is.”</p><p>It wasn’t much of a revelation, but from Lazy Susan? It was progress. Small victories.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Handover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>It was later that afternoon that the first parts of Soos’s train arrived – though his enthusiasm had been dampened by the family’s muted response.</p><p>Soos was still pretty confused by the whole thing. He’d never risk the Mystery Shack; it was his favourite place on Earth. Why would anybody want to take on the Mystery Shack? Except for people like Gideon or Bill. But they were villains. They were bad guys. If he accepted this train, was he a bad guy?</p><p>He didn’t <em>want</em> to be a bad guy.</p><p>He watched with Melody as the train, its carriages and tracks were laid in the shack’s car park – all festooned in OregCo logos and signage.</p><p>It was clearly intended to be a big moment; a prime press opportunity. Horace Tyson himself stood there, a fake smile on his face and a clipboard in his hands – with camera crews and newspapers around him, taking photographs of the skinny man in the suit presenting the little train like it was a giant check.</p><p>The Shack hadn’t seen crowds like this since the last Free Pizza day.       </p><p>The proper one, wherein Soos had actually bought pizza.</p><p> </p><p>“Here we are, Mr. Ramirez. Courtesy of OregCo, as a mark of our new Business Partnership.”</p><p>The crowd around them gave a round of applause as Horace handed him the tiny pair of keys to the little engine.</p><p>Soos looked over them with quiet excitement, overjoyed with his new toy – the Mystery Shack’s latest and greatest attraction. He had <em>always</em> loved train rides. He had always loved the idea of driving his own train ride like he did the golf carts – up though the forests and hills to show his visitors the best of the world’s weirdest forest.</p><p>But no sooner as his internal celebrations were hitting, his thoughts went back to the family’s reaction – to the look of resignation from the kids, and the lack of support from Stan.</p><p>It was a bit <em>difficult</em> to feel happy about it.</p><p>No, the family was right. Something was wrong with this stuff, and if it hurt people, he didn’t want to touch it.</p><p>“Uh… look, dude, we dunno if we want this anymore.”</p><p>Toby Determined gave a scandalised yell from the crowd. “Move over front paaaage!”</p><p>Horace Tyson blinked and adjusted his stance. This wasn’t in the script. Did they even give this Zeus guy the script? “Excuse me? The company has paid for it.”</p><p>“Yeah, and it’s super sweet, and I love the flame job, But like… I dunno, dog. The gas station and stuff, I don’t think we really need it, y’know? I’m not sure if we really <em>want</em> big business here.”</p><p>The crowd of reporters gasped.</p><p>“In fact, I’m not sure if we should’ve even signed your contract, dog. I didn’t even read the thing. I know I was told <em>not to</em>, but this is beginning to seem a bit suspicious.”</p><p>“N-no, Mr. Ramirez, you- you read the contact, of course you did!” Tyson replied through gritted teeth. “Y-you’d never be so stupid to <em>not</em> read a contract, right?”</p><p>“Dude, you were the one who told me not to. You and Preston Northwest. Like, I might not be a genius, but I trusted you guys.”</p><p>By now the crowd was breaking into shocked murmuring.</p><p>Had OregCo really manipulated this small, innocent business owner? A business owner who gave away bumper stickers and badges for the kids?</p><p>It was almost too much of a scandal for the townspeople to comprehend.</p><p>A corporation lying?</p><p>Surely not. Big companies were meant to be caring and compassionate, and have good press people. This was a PR disaster!</p><p>“Mr. Ramirez, please – remember that we’re your <em>friends</em>-“</p><p>“I don’t even know your name, dude!”</p><p>By now, the tension was palpable. Horace Tyson, multimillion dollar chief assistant to the assistant Chief Executive, was stood with his mouth hanging open in front of cameras, press screws and reporters – holding keys in front of a Tourist Trap operator.</p><p>Completely – and utterly – lost for words.</p><p>A silence befell the crowd. By now, it felt more like a reality television programme as opposed to press conference.</p><p>Horace adjusted his tie. “Ha ha! That’s a- that’s a funny joke, Zeus – It’s so nice that you’re willing to keep up the mystique for this charming attraction!”</p><p>“My name is <em>Soos</em>, dog.”</p><p>“Oh my goodnessss! They’re not friends at all!” Toby decried. “This is a golden day to be a newspaper journalist!”</p><p>That was it. Time to bail. The crowds were dispersed, the train was taken away and Horace was already preparing to give that Northwest <em>creep</em> a piece of his mind.</p><p> “You did amazing, honey!” Melody grinned, throwing her arms around Soos proudly.</p><p>Soos beamed and held her.</p><p>“Wait… uh, what did I do?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Eviction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“Horsey, how are y-“</p><p>“Don’t. Shut up, Preston. I’ve just been embarrassed by one of your country hicks.”</p><p>“Well, then go to plan B.”</p><p>“I’m already <em>going</em> to Plan B, Preston. I just want to shout at you for a while. I’m losing patience with this place, Northwest. I’m losing patience with this place, and I’m losing patience with <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“I’ve had nothing to do with it!”</p><p>“You had <em>everything</em> to do with it, Northwest. You told me this would be <em>easy</em>. I’ve just had a PR disaster. Does that sound easy to you? An oil company with a PR problem? That’s not how these things work, Preston. That’s not how any of this is supposed to work!”</p><p>“Look, it’s been a slightly rough ride, I grant you, but…”</p><p>“If one more thing goes wrong, we’re pulling the plug. And we’ll take your money with us.”</p><p>“Now, hang on-“</p><p>“Hang on yourself! I… I’m still on cell, so I can’t slam this down, but rest assured, <em>I would</em>.”</p><p>Preston groaned and ended the call.</p><p> </p><p>Mabel, Ford, Stan and Dipper all congratulated Soos upon the utter disaster he had reaped onto the company – though it was still a bittersweet moment for Mr. Mystery.</p><p>His choo choo. His <em>beloved</em> choo choo train. He was even considering calling it Stan. That wasn’t weird, right?</p><p>All the same – he got a sincere impression he’d done the right thing. Not the easy thing, but the right thing.</p><p>Ford smiled and patted Soos’s back. “We have to be aware though; on your toes, everybody.”</p><p>Soos stood on his toes. “Alright dude, but I don’t have the best balance-“</p><p>“We don’t know what’s in the contract; we don’t know what could be involved. Legally, they could do anything.” Ford continued. “Legally, they could own the very ground the shack is built on.”</p><p>Stan rolled his eyes. “Yeesh, always a downer. Soos has the deed.”</p><p>“He has the deed to the <em>building</em>.”</p><p>“And <em>you</em> bought the land!”</p><p>“About forty years ago. Perhaps I am being somewhat paranoid.”</p><p>“Yeah, I mean c’mon guys!” Mabel scoffed. “They aren’t going to kick the family out of the house-“</p><p> </p><p>It was two hours later when the group found themselves being escorted off premises by a group of burly men in expensive suits and ties. The Mystery Shack had been placed under compulsory purchase order, according to the terms of their contract – and was now owned by OregCo.</p><p>Part and parcel. Lock, stock, barrel and every single dead rat under the floorboards. The Mystery Shack was now the <em>OregCo</em> Mystery Shack.</p><p>“Didn’t see that coming.” Dipper muttered.</p><p>“I can’t believe you only packed one pair of underwear.” Mabel snorted. “You men are gross.”</p><p>“Priorities, Mabel. I need <em>books</em>, not underwear!” Dipper snapped.</p><p>The family shuffled out of the shack with no small amount of protest – strong words, the odd thrown fist, even a vain attempt at bribery did little to fix the situation.</p><p>The men in suits waited silently as they packed up what little they were allowed to grab and walked off of the porch – before slamming the door shut and locking it tight.</p><p>Even Shmebulock, Mystery Shack house keeper and occasional thief, found himself ushered out with a bundle of his favourite Stan collectables.</p><p> </p><p> “Anyone gonna lend a hand hitching Abuelita’s Airstream to Mr. Pines’ Car?” Soos shouted.</p><p>“Hey hey hey! Watch the merchandise! That fake chrome isn’t cheap!”</p><p>They had soon parked up in one of the campsites nearby – a land of expensive rents, inefficient electrical generators and faulty WiFi.</p><p>It was far from the family’s finest moment – in fact, to Ford and Dipper, it felt outright demeaning. Soos and Melody had a generous sized trailer, but it was, by nature, filled with snack foods, DJ equipment and gaming consoles as opposed to anything practical.</p><p>Abuelita’s was little better – instead filled with jars of nickels, doilies and vintage furniture, with an invasive smell of soap.</p><p>It all felt a little bit too familiar to the last time this had happened. Even if, this time, it was a polished aluminium luxury trailer with full cable.</p><p> </p><p>Ford felt <em>naked</em> without his laboratory equipment, and he couldn’t go down there when they were removed – give OregCo knowledge of the the shack’s annals, of their most secretive research? <em>Unthinkable. </em></p><p>Construction fences and barbed wire were already being erected around their home by the time they were settled in.</p><p>In only a couple of hours, everything had… well, gone completely and utterly wrong.</p><p>“Soos, you really need to read contracts.” Mabel groaned, face down in a pillow. “This pillow smells like nachos and I am <em>not</em> in a nacho mood.”</p><p>“Sorry dude, that’s my nacho pillow.”</p><p>“Nacho pillow?”</p><p>“Na dude, <em>it is </em>my pillow. Ha! …Sorry, bad time? Prolly a bad time.”</p><p> </p><p>The tension and worry that emanated from Dipper was enormous. He sat there, crouched with his books, silently – save his shaking hands causing the pages to rattle.</p><p>He was scared. Not because his family had been evicted, but because his girlfriend had <em>standards</em>, and this trailer was <em>well</em> below them.</p><p>Stan rubbed his chin. “What are gonna tell Blondie?”</p><p>Dipper’s face fell. “No way Pacifica is going to stay. A Northwest living in a trailer?” Dipper sighed. “This is it, this is the end.”</p><p>“You teenage boys are so <em>moody</em>.” Mabel scoffed, beginning to poke Dipper in the ribs. “For someone so smart you sure are dumb. Don’t you understand the power of luurrrrve?”</p><p>“Your only experience of love is a bunch of gnomes and a merman.”</p><p>“And a vampire. And Fredrick from school. He was really sweet.”</p><p>“Wait, who?”</p><p>“German exchange student. He was missing one of his eyes. I liked him.”</p><p>“...Whatever, my point still stands!”</p><p>“Dipper, Pacifica isn’t going to leave your for her folks just because we’re living in a tin can. Besides, she doesn’t finish work for another… twenty minutes.”</p><p>“Twenty minutes?”</p><p>“Yeah, we can normally sort things out in that time, right?"</p><p>“We have to go tell her!”</p><p>“I mean, 21 minutes or something seems to be our average-“</p><p>“What are you <em>talking about</em>, Mabel?”</p><p>“Mabel things!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Barbed Wire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica was still feeling a little bit shaken from her encounter with Preston. She was almost sorry to be leaving the Diner today – it had been busy, done well at distracting her, and she had gotten plenty of attention following the confrontation.</p><p>Wendy had stayed with her for the majority. Pacifica still had a certain level of jealousy and distrust for the lanky teenager – perhaps understandable with Dipper’s history – but one of the Corduroy girl’s biggest talents, by far, was ignoring tension and treating everybody like friends.</p><p>It was no surprise Dipper had found her natural cool and charisma so endearing. As little as she was willing to admit it, Pacifica found herself envying the redhead’s lifestyle and philosophy. If she even had one.</p><p>She had tried mimicking Wendy in the past to little success.</p><p>Was she seriously beginning to see a <em>Corduroy</em> as someone to look up to?</p><p>That was kinda pathetic. <em>A Northwest would never</em>-</p><p>
  <em>Nope, get it out of your mind, Pacifica. You aren’t a Northwest. Stop. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Time to close up.” Susan smiled, patting her assistant manager’s shoulder. “Get yourself home.”</p><p>The young waitress snapped out of her internal monologue and blinked. “Oh- yeah.”</p><p>“You’ve been polishing that counter so much you’ll take the lacquer off.”</p><p>“Sorry. It’s uh… it’s a rough time.”</p><p>Susan nodded understandingly. Pacifica briefly wondered if Susan was even <em>that</em> sure what the problem was. “Your boyfriend is outside. Go on, Paz.”</p><p>“Susan?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“It’s <em>Pacifica</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>She bundled her things together and ran out into Dipper’s arms. It was only then that she realised that something was wrong.</p><p>Mabel didn’t squee. Or shout. Or go ‘bwap’. Mabel was quiet. Dipper just held her.</p><p>The twins’ natural enthusiasm wasn’t just underwhelming, it was like it wasn’t <em>there</em>.</p><p>“Okay, something’s wrong. What’s with the long faces? Mabel, Waddles isn’t even wearing a hat!”</p><p>“Things gone a bit wrong.” Dipper mumbled. “We’ve…been thrown out of the shack.”</p><p>“What.”</p><p>“We’re living in a trailer.”</p><p>“<em>What</em>.”</p><p>“I uh… understand…” Dipper sighed, his brow furrowed. “I understand if you want to go back home.”</p><p>“<strong><em>What?!</em></strong> Dipper, what do you take me for? I’m not dumping you because you got thrown out of the shack!” Pacifica felt like slapping him, but ended up cuddling him instead. “You absolute dummy!”</p><p>Mabel laughed “That’s what I told him Paz! I should’ve put ten bucks on it!”</p><p>Dipper sighed. “Don’t you get it? We’ll probably have to go back to Piedmont anyway. Mom and Dad won’t want us to live in a trailer…”</p><p>“Then we do the obvious thing, you Dork! We take the shack back off of them.”</p><p>“How? How, Pacifica?” Dipper snapped “Face it! Everything is hopeless!”</p><p>“Man, you teenage boys are moody.” Pacifica chuckled, grabbing Dipper’s hand and pulling him along.</p><p>“SNAP!” Mabel grinned, “High five!”</p><p> </p><p>The trio (and Waddles) made their way to the site of the Shack – now surrounded by chain link fences and signage promoting a<em> new and improved</em> Mystery Shack from the faceless corporation that had taken it under their wing.</p><p>What once felt homely and pleasant, a welcoming little refuge in the woods, now felt foreboding and dark; the lights were off, the car park was barren, and what little access people had was hampered by enormous lengths of barbed wire.</p><p>“I guess your Dad won.” Dipper sighed.</p><p>“My Dad hasn’t won anything.” Pacifica rolled her eyes and held Dipper’s shoulder.</p><p>“But he’s got <em>the shack</em>.”</p><p>“Exactly. All he’s gotten is <em>a shack</em>. It’s nothing compared to what he <em>wants</em>.”</p><p>Mabel sat down on a tree stump and pouted. “But it’s our shack!”</p><p> “And what’s he gonna do with it, Mabel? No offence, but the Mystery Shack isn’t exactly prime property. If we just get rid of the gas station, OregCo will have no reason to keep it.”</p><p>“And how can we get rid of the gas station, Pacifica?”</p><p>“Listen to me, Dip, I may not have all the answers, but I’m willing to try what I can. Maybe we can hire someone to wreck the joint or-“</p><p>
  <strong> <em>BADOOM!</em> </strong>
</p><p>The Trio jumped as a small mushroom cloud flew up from across the highway – smack back in the centre of the gas station’s construction site.</p><p>“…Or someone does the job for us.”</p><p>A screaming plume of smoke flew through the air above them, arcing at around twenty metres before beginning its descent towards them.</p><p>It was none other than Jeff, the ever-beleaguered leader of the gnomes, who hit the floor with a solid thumb before scraping across the ground and colliding with a tree.</p><p>Dipper and Mabel blinked.</p><p>Pacifica stared, wide eyed and slack jawed. “Is that a… is that a tiny man?”</p><p>“That’s Jeff. He’s one of the gnomes.” Mabel shrugged. “Lives in the forest.”</p><p>Pacifica gingerly tapped Jeff’s motionless body with her foot. “I- I’m not sure I even want to ask. Why is there a gnome here? Is he dead?”  </p><p>Jeff slowly heaved himself up, his face covered in mud. “Well <em>hello</em>.”</p><p>Pacifica jumped, screamed and booted Jeff directly into the stomach, sending him flying like a soccer ball.</p><p>Jeff yelped and landed back on his rear. “Pacifica Northwest, right? Hey, we’ve been thinking about making you our new queen! I’ve got a ring somewhere-“</p><p>“<em>What</em>.”</p><p>Dipper, almost automatically, stepped in front of Pacifica. “Hey, hey Buddy - back off!”</p><p>“Can I kick him again?” Pacifica growled, preparing her best booting foot.</p><p>Jeff stopped shuffling through his pockets and took a step back, spitting out the last few clods of dirt. “Wait, wait, guys! Ha, look, forget it – I uh – <em>we’ve</em> had a bit of an accident over there. That new building site over there, turns out you can’t use gasoline to barbecue mushrooms. Who knew, right?”</p><p>They all raised their eyebrows and glanced at the plume of smoke, before glaring down at Jeff.</p><p>“You’re kidding me. You all knew? I’m beginning to wonder if you need to write me – <em>us</em> some kind of handbook. Look, long story short, we don’t appreciate these things being built here if we can’t even barbecue on ‘em.”</p><p><em>Bingo</em>.</p><p>Pacifica smirked. “Oh yeah, these companies <em>hate</em> you forest guys. Like, I heard them talking on the phone earlier, and they said they’d <em>never</em> let gnomes into <em>any</em> of their businesses.”</p><p>Jeff blinked. “That… that just isn’t cool.”</p><p>Mabel chimed in excitedly “Yeah! Like, more of them are opening up in town and they act like you guys don’t exist! Where’s the justice, right?”</p><p>“Tearing up the forest…” Pacifica continued.</p><p>Jeff tapped his lip thoughtfully as he listened to the blatant <em>injustice</em> being laid before him. As chief of the gnomes, it was obviously his job to fix such matters. The gnomes would <em>respect</em> him for it.</p><p>“Andddd I’m pretty sure they found some gnome treasure at the burger joint in town and threw it in the trash.” Dipper nodded. “Just threw it straight out.”</p><p>There was a pause.That was all it took to invoke Jeff’s anger. “<em>You mean they found the vinyl re-release of </em><strong>Disco Girl</strong><em> and trashed it?!</em>”</p><p>“Uh… sure, man.” Dipper grinned. Did <em>all</em> fantasy creatures listen to girly Icelandic pop sensation Babba? That was pretty cool. Maybe a topic for discussion some other time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Gathering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p>
<p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p>
<p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p>
<p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The gnome forces assembled quickly after word spread – but it was the Corduroys who proved to be the ace up their sleeve. Wendy was informed by Pacifica, who informed Manly Dan, who was very much in the mood for a fight.</p>
<p>Not that <em>that</em> was unusual.</p>
<p>What <em>was</em> unusual was them lining up with a small army of manotaurs.</p>
<p>The tension (<em>and testosterone</em>) was palpable; never had there been such a battle ready army. The gnomes were a decent force, sure, but they were also stupid and cowardly.</p>
<p>Now they had an army that was stupid and <em>powerful</em>.</p>
<p>Wendy and Dan met with the group only a short while after Pacifica’s text. It was a pretty intimidating sight seeing a half-giant lumberjack leading an entire platoon of all-giant cow men with a hormone imbalance.</p>
<p>“Hey dudes. We gonna smash up a burger joint or what?” Wendy beamed.</p>
<p>“Wait. your Dad was <em>terrified</em> of the manotaurs.”</p>
<p>“Only cos he owed ‘em five bucks, Dip.”</p>
<p>“...Huh.”</p>
<p>“<strong>Now I’m repaying them in DEMOLITION WORK!</strong>” Dan roared, prompting an equally cacophonous refrain from the hairy troops behind him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mabel tapped Dipper’s shoulder gingerly. “Should we be telling Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford about this?”</p>
<p>Pacifica winced and tapped on Dipper’s other shoulder. “Yeah, like... aren’t we basically committing a mass act of vandalism?”</p>
<p>“Well I-“</p>
<p>“Hey kids!” Stan and Ford strutted up to the rallying point. “Where do you want the army?”</p>
<p>Behind the two old men was a particularly large gathering of townsfolk.                Familiar faces such as Lazy Susan, Robbie, Toby, Soos, Tad Strange with a wagon of wonderbread – and even Mayor Cutebiker; gathered in their tens with all manner of pitchforks.</p>
<p>“In Mayor Befufftlefumpter’s heyday we had a pitchfork gathering at least once a week.” Tyler grinned. “When we found out these people had taken the shack we had to do <em>something</em>.”</p>
<p> “And after folks heard what Preston was like at the Diner, the entire town jumped on board.” Stan grinned. “That guy’s got it comin’.”</p>
<p>Lazy Susan gave a finger-assisted wink to Pacifica and grinned.</p>
<p>Pacifica raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Told you, Paz,” Wendy smiled, putting an arm around Pacifica. “We’re looking out for you.”</p>
<p>Pacifica squirmed awkwardly. She was still getting used to the whole being <em>liked</em> thing; let alone the idea of the entire <em>town</em> taking side with her.</p>
<p>She’d written all of these people off as weirdos and freaks, just like her dad had. Now half of the town was ready and waiting to take a stand against his business coup for the sake of her, a diner and a shack full of bad taxidermy.</p>
<p>Maybe the town was just particularly easy to rise up into a fight since the war of Weirdma-…that.</p>
<p>“I uh… dunno what to say.”</p>
<p>“Let’s just go smash things up!” Soos cheered. “I want the shack back and I’ve got eggs! Eggs, dude!”</p>
<p>“I have a wagonload of stale bread, a new tie, and I’ve just been to my son’s baseball game.” Tad Strange put in. “I sure do love my local sports team.”</p>
<p>Everybody glanced momentarily at Tad.</p>
<p>“I think I’m in love with that man.” Mabel mumbled to Pacifica.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had reached sundown when Frank McCatt arrived to his construction office with a suitcase full of cash and a selection of contracts for his business partner.</p>
<p>He had spent the day mapping out his early plans for a new mining operation deep into Gravity Falls’ floating cliffs, eager in his belief there was further money to be choked from the town. All it would take was some good old fashioned bribery, a few false planning permission permits and a good bit of cash in Preston Northwest’s pocket.</p>
<p>A piece of cake.</p>
<p>“Prestie, my boy, you’re sitting on so much ore under here I reckon we can both retire.”</p>
<p>“Finally, some good news.”</p>
<p>“Heard about the gas station, huh? Boy, I’ve not seen an explosion like that since the Hamburger Press fire at my Boring outlet. Lemme tell you boy, it was like that movie. Y’know the one, with raining food?”</p>
<p>Frank squirted hair oil on his hands and began sweeping it through his greying locks, handling them with such care they may as well be a pedigree Persian cat.</p>
<p>Preston tried his best to handle his nerves. Something didn’t feel right. He had a hideous feeling that the Pines had something to do with the gas station, and Horace was yet to even contact him about it.</p>
<p>He wasn’t looking forward to that phone call. He wasn’t sure if the OregCo venture would even be continuing after that.</p>
<p>The town – and the family – was proving to be more resilient and more expensive than he thought. He was, all in all, finding himself in a pretty terrible mood. If he wasn’t careful, his utter <em>disdain</em> for these business partners might end up rising to be surface.</p>
<p>“Frank, please, let’s just get this signed off.”</p>
<p>“You’re normally so happy to go stealing from the poor. What’s the matter with you?”</p>
<p>“Call it a feeling. There’s a strange… rebellion in the air. Tension.”</p>
<p>“Huh. Smells more like body odour, hair and manly emotions to me… and bread.”</p>
<p>“Let’s just finish up, eh? I haven’t even had breakfast today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Rich People Fights: Coming Soon to UTBAHC.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Horace Tyson, Chief Assistant of the Assistant Chief Executive, was having a bad day. That meant <em>everybody</em> had to have a bad day too.</p><p>He had shouted at his secretary, not said thank you to Todd at Starbucks and hadn’t even listened to his car radio, just to make sure that his favourite broadcaster didn’t get the extra listeners.</p><p>This horrible little town had gone<em> too far</em>.</p><p>His gas station! His beautiful, B-Grade Specification, Dirt Highway Gas Station! Gone, gone sky high. Practically in orbit. Now just a big hole in the ground with some half wrecked gas tanks.</p><p>Sure, sure, he was always told to add fuel <em>afterwards</em>, but dammit, this was a short notice project that had to be finished <em>quickly</em>! He might at least be able to fill up his car for <em>free</em>. He didn’t spend so much money making it <em>look</em> like an electric vehicle for nothing – his gas stations were <em>private</em>!</p><p>It didn’t help that the nightwatchman said it was due to little men. Little men! Little bearded men who cooked potentially hallucinogenic mushrooms on an open flame next to a tanker of fuel!</p><p>It was all too much.</p><p>This was <em>Preston Northwest’s</em> fault. Enough was enough.</p><p>The newfound army hid behind Greasy’s Diner and throughout the trees behind the place, silently scoping out the construction office that would soon be facing off against them.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, men, ladies, monsters, everyone else, it’s time to go beat up some rich guys!” Mabel grinned. “On your marks, get set….”</p><p>“Wait! Someone’s coming!”</p><p>Mabel froze and looked through her Custom night vision goggles – in practise, a pair of toilet tubes with green cellophane on the ends.  “It’s just some guy in a suit. Can’t we wipe him out and call it collateral damage?”</p><p>The manotaurs cheered in approval.</p><p>“No, Mabel, we have to see where this goes!”</p><p>“Your sister is pretty bloodthirsty when she gets riled, huh?” Pacifica winced.</p><p>“She gets it from Stanley.” Ford nodded, grimly.</p><p>They watched, maintaining their silence, as the tall, thin man in the garish suit stormed his way towards the McCatt construction off, and immediately began pounding upon the door.</p><p> “North<em>west</em>! “</p><p>He started pounding on the door, until Preston came to it with a calm, collected and hospitable expression – such a desperate attempt of sincerity that you could swear it was splitting at the seams.</p><p>“Horace, please, come in.”</p><p>“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t pull out of this town right now, Preston. I’ve about had it with the hicks in this town. My gas station has been wrecked by your horrible little hamlet and I’m in no mood to start spending money on rebuilding it!”</p><p>“Horsey, come now, calm down – we have some oat milk, you can get a coffee, we’ll talk about this like gentlemen.”</p><p>“I’m done treating you like a gentleman, Preston. You aren’t a gentleman. You’re a poser. You’re a vain, egocentric, desperate poser who thinks he has any right to sit with us at the big man’s table.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m beginning to like this guy.” Dipper grinned – before being punched in the arm by his girlfriend.</p><p>“You <em>would</em>. He’s the guy who stole the shack and you’re going to let him off because he hates my Dad?”</p><p>“Hey, just saying, the guy’s got princip-Ow! Okay, that gave me a dead arm.”</p><p>“Not sorry.”</p><p>“Dudes, can we charge yet?” Soos shouted from behind. “ Pretty sure Tad is going to start eating the stale bread.”</p><p>“It’s only two days past the sell by date, and I <em>do</em> love bread.”</p><p> “I can’t help but feel we could have done with a more competent army.” Ford sighed. “It’s all or nothing, Mason.”</p><p>“You keep saying that name and I have no idea who it damned well is.” Stan snapped.</p><p>Pacifica was about to remind Stanley of his nephew’s real name in earnest – only for Dipper to promptly cover her mouth.  “Just… just don’t. Alright?”</p><p> </p><p>Preston looked genuinely taken aback by the confrontation as it continued at the construction office’s door – his hands already rising defensively. “Now look, I’m sure you’ve good reason to be angry, Horace. But we’re friends here; we can be sensible about this.”</p><p>“The most sensible thing would be me breaking your nose!” Horace shouted, at the top of his lungs.</p><p>“Hey, this could be good.” Stan grinned. “Fight! Fight! Fight!”</p><p>“Stan! Shhh!” Dipper flinched, trying to shut his grunkle up.</p><p>It was too late; Horace and Preston turned their heads and spotted Pubitaur scratching himself against one of the nearby trees.</p><p>“Alright. Fine.”</p><p>“You have to say <em>charge</em>.” Mabel grinned.</p><p>“Why? Everybody just go.”</p><p>“Do we charge, dude?”</p><p>“Soos, yes – Just – just go!”</p><p>“We aren’t charging until you say it.” Sniffed Mabel, now sat on one of the manotaurs' shoulders with her arms crossed. “It’s just how it works, Dip!”</p><p>“Fine. <strong><em>Charge</em></strong>. Jeez.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. The Battle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>One moment, Preston and Horace were closing in on fisticuffs – now they were being closed in on by a group of tiny men in pointy hats, giant cow men and a lot of Oregon townsfolk.</p><p>It was far to say both had been taken somewhat by surprise by the latest development in their respective careers.</p><p>It all seemed to happen at once – Frank’s rye whiskey glass started to shake, a dull rumbling and the glow of flaming torches began to grow more and more blatant…</p><p>And then, the construction fence fell to a wave of the tiny bearded men, scampering on all fours with teeth bared and eyes furious.</p><p>“For Babba, men! Tonight, we shall all be Disco Girls!” Screamed Jeff, perched on the back of his noble steed, Shivsworthy the possum. “Take no prisoners! We have no <em>room</em>!”</p><p>The gnomes were brutal, uncoordinated and dim. Most ended up falling into construction trenches, where they began to burrow and gnaw into the building’s foundations. Some began disassembling cranes and machinery, and the others just went into the construction office and threw paperwork around.</p><p> </p><p>It was a scene of pure chaos. Chaos so uncontrollable and unbridled that the wealthy men found themselves stunned – and bewildered.</p><p>“What are these things?!” screamed Horace, kicking one of the gnomes through a window.</p><p>“They’re uh… gnomes.” Preston sighed. “They live just outside of town-“</p><p>“In the forest. The forest that I built a gas station in.”</p><p>“Well, i-“</p><p>“You told us there was <em>nothing</em> we needed to know about the real estate, Northwest!”</p><p>“I didn’t know that included <em>gnomes</em>!”</p><p>“We didn’t know we <em>needed</em> a <em>gnome</em> clause!” snapped Frank, trying to punch a particularly bitey Shmebulock as he gnawed on his ponytail. “I’m not built for fighting, Northwest, I’m built for land ownership!”</p><p>It was then that the first manotaur struck, demolishing the first of the concrete, prefabricated walls that stood on the site.</p><p>Frank stared at the hulking, great creature as it tossed a mechanical shovel in a testosterone addled battle cry, sending it flying onto the street with a horrendous crash.</p><p>“What the hell is that thing? Preston, what is <em>wrong</em> with this place?!”</p><p>“Come now, there’s a logical, reasonable explanation for all of this-“</p><p>“Then what is it, Preston?” Sputtered Horace Tyson, now beginning to rethink his career choices that led him to being trapped in a construction office with two men he despised. “What is the logical, reasonable explanation?”</p><p>“Well, perhaps we’re all… hallucinating. Yes! The uh, flames and smoke from that gas station are sure to affect us in some way. If all just close our hours and try to collect ourselves we might be able to-“</p><p>The roof of the construction office was swiftly ripped off by a manotaur with a familiar thirteen year old perched on his shoulder, wearing a particularly garish ‘battle sweater’.</p><p>They looked up in fear.</p><p>“Hello!” Mabel grinned sweetly, complete with a happy wave. “We’re here to get our shack back!”</p><p>Horace blinked. “The… the log cabin in the woods?”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s the one!”</p><p>“All of this is over some…some hick hut in the forest?”</p><p>“And we don’t like you. And Mr. Northwest is a bit of a jerk. Onwards, Aika, my noble steed!”</p><p>“My name is Testostotaur.” The manotaur replied, glancing up at her.</p><p>“Whaaat? Na. Onwarrrds!” Mabel cheered. The manotaur decided not to question the matter any further, and continued storming a seemingly endless trail of destruction across the prospective McBurger site.</p><p>Tyson glared at Preston.</p><p>Frank McCatt glared at Preston.</p><p>Preston blinked and rubbed his neck.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Crump!</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Another construction vehicle was tipped by the townspeople, who promptly began stealing the tyres – as is the natural inclination. Rebar and concrete was pulverised, vehicles folded like cardboard – and, throughout, the three millionaires sat wide eyed, disorientated and fighting amongst themselves.</p><p>Stale bread flew in every direction. Stan began demonstrating the correct way to firebomb a motor vehicle to the local teenagers. Stanford began using his magnet gun to fling barrels like a particularly grim adaptation of <em>Dinkey Ape.</em> Wendy and her father were attempting to fell steel girders like tree trunks.              </p><p>The noise and commotion could be heard from McGucket’s Hootenanny Hut, where Fiddleford and Tate were watching contently with opera glasses.</p><p>It wasn’t terrifying so much as it was <em>bizarre</em>.</p><p>Another day in Gravity Falls.</p><p> </p><p>Dipper ran through the site, hitting things with a baseball bat and somewhat awkwardly attempting to be a full tier anarchist. It wasn’t entirely natural for him compared to his Grunkle Stan, for instance, but he was pretty sure it was one of the most exhilarating experiences of his <em>life</em>.</p><p>It was then that he noticed Pacifica, standing by the sidelines, looking more... lost than exhilarated. He stopped and watched her - before swiftly dropping his baseball bat and walking to her, instead. Amid all of the fun of the outright war, all of the chaos at their own hands, and the ability to join his Grunkles in completely legalised property damage – he assumed it was, as Blubs and Durland were now joining in, anyway – he came to the scared teenage girl standing on the sidewalk.</p><p>Pacifica gave an awkward smile and offered her hand to him. That was pretty sweet of the nerd. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hey.” He smiled, taking her hand. “Aren’t you gonna join in?”</p><p>“Heh. Look, I uh… this isn’t my thing, okay? I can take trampling mud on a carpet and maybe throwing a few things, but I’m not <em>like this</em>, Dipper. I just… that’s my <em>Dad</em> out there.”</p><p>Dipper looked over at Preston, almost completely unaware of his daughter’s presence - ducked into a corner of the half-demolished office with his friends. Or, at least, as close as he got to friends.</p><p>Dipper raised an eyebrow and scoffed in disbelief. “What, like - do you want to <em>let him go</em>?”</p><p>“What do we get from scaring him more? Those guys are gonna get out of here as soon as they can, the shack is gonna be dropped and like… look, Dipper, I know he’s a bad guy but – he <em>is</em> my Dad.”</p><p>Dipper hated how confusing he found these things. In his mind, Preston was the worst. He was having a bit of trouble understanding why Pacifica didn’t feel entirely the same way. Didn’t she get it? Her Dad deserved it!</p><p>“But I mean… he’s <em>Preston Northwest.</em>”</p><p>“Look, you wouldn’t understand. He’s still looked after me, he still raised me, he still…well, spoilt me. He isn’t completely…evil.”</p><p>“Well I-“</p><p>“Not <em>completely</em>. You thought I was evil before you got to know me, right? Or at least when I tried to change for the better…”</p><p>Dipper wrapped an arm around Pacifica awkwardly, trying to console her. And not really being sure how to do it. Boyfriends did the whole arm-shoulder thing, right? “Well, what do you want to do?”</p><p>“Well I mean – I dunno. I kinda just wanted to get the message across, get your shack back and keep the diner safe. I don’t really want to terrorise people.”</p><p>“Your Dad’s terrorised you plenty.”</p><p>“I know, Dip, but – I just don’t want to be that… y’know. Crazy.”</p><p> </p><p>Dipper went quiet as Aika and Mabel gave their best battlecry, before the manotaur headbutted a portapotty into orbit – a gnome still clinging to the roof and trying to bite through the weatherproofed plastic.</p><p> </p><p>“…Yeah, I think I understand that.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. A Pines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p>
<p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p>
<p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p>
<p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Preston dived out of the way of a rabid gnome, allowing it to attack Horace’s face rather than his own - watching the townspeople wreck his grand plans for the town of Gravity Falls. Even Mayor Cutebiker. The <em>mayor</em> for pete’s sake!</p>
<p>This was embarrassing, confusing and tragic all in one fell swoop; a disaster that no dedicated PR figure or Northwest owned newspaper could draw a positive from. Not since his daughter’s revelation of the Northwest cover up had he been rendered so speechless.</p>
<p>Gravity Falls had clearly deteriorated into a lawless land. No land for a Northwest. This had been his grand plan, and within only a couple of days it had crumbled into nothing more than two big holes in the ground.</p>
<p>He tried to fight, but it was worthless – every swing he took against a manotaur would only endanger himself. Every punch he threw could only result in one back to him. His obsession with self preservation and natural cowardice overruled any feelings of aggression.</p>
<p>Preston Northwest was no fighter. He was an angry, rich man who hated these people, but the thought of touching them with his fists?</p>
<p>Unthinkable.</p>
<p>This was it. The loss of it all.</p>
<p>Another beautiful dream gone awry.</p>
<p>Another beautiful, <em>profitable</em> dream, turned to rubble.</p>
<p>Then – as he closed his eyes and covered his head – everything stopped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was almost <em>fearful</em> of the dead silence that suddenly took hold as, wordlessly, his daughter walked towards him – leaving that manipulative, sweaty little Pines boy, that <em>leech</em> who called himself her boyfriend - standing by the wayside.</p>
<p>He furrowed his brow towards her and gritted his teeth.</p>
<p>Pacifica Elise Northwest was now – quite literally – standing up to her father in front of <em>everyone</em>. In front of the <em>entire town</em>. The magical creatures. Her loved ones.</p>
<p>The tension was palpable.</p>
<p>“You’ve really gone too far this time, you little <em>Brat</em>!” Preston shouted. “How dare you! How dare you do this to your father! Your own <em>flesh and blood</em>, Pacifica!”</p>
<p>“Dad.”</p>
<p>Preston gesticulated wildly as he confronted the stoic thirteen year old in from of him. “Believe me, if I had my way, you’d be sent straight into child protection! This town isn’t fit for us <em>to wipe our shoes on</em>, and you dare, you <em>dare</em> to side with them and bring about this… this mess?!”</p>
<p>“I want you to know that I forgive you.”</p>
<p>There was a pause. A tense pause that the entire town was there to hear, as Preston stared at his daughter – scratched, bruised and beaten, his hair messy, his suit ruined, his tie squint.</p>
<p>For the first time in their lives, it seemed that the kid had the high ground against him.</p>
<p>“You forgive me.” Preston spat back. “You, Pacifica Elise Northwest, my <em>daughter</em>, forgive me. What for, Daughter?  Pray tell, <strong><em>what for</em></strong>?!”</p>
<p>“For everything. I don’t want you to get hurt, Dad. Just… get out of here, okay?”</p>
<p>“I’m not going anywhere, daughter.”</p>
<p>“Then I will. I don’t want to be part of our family anymore. We’re broken, Dad, and I want out of it. I want to live with people who care about me – who support me and help me live my own life.”</p>
<p>“I’ll never let you.” Preston snarled. “You’re a Northwest, Pacifica.”</p>
<p>“No, Dad.” Pacifica replied. “I’m a Pines.”</p>
<p>Preston sputtered – only to be given a tight hug by her daughter. A wordless, tight hug from the girl he had spent his lifetime trying to raise <em>right</em>. The beaten millionaire’s left eye twitched in an unbridled, unkempt fury as his flesh and blood seemed to finally cut that final tie.</p>
<p>Pacifica Elise Northwest, without giving him a second glance, then simply walked back silently to her family.</p>
<p>Her <em>new</em> family.</p>
<p>Her new family and her boyfriend, her favourite person in the world. Dipper Pines.</p>
<p>Stan cleared his throat and spoke up. “Look, Prestie, I’ve nothing against you – I mean, I <em>have</em>, we all have, but uh… when was the last time you told the kid you were proud of her? Keep it in mind, huh?”</p>
<p>Preston knew he couldn’t really say <em>anything</em>.</p>
<p>Pacifica looked up at Stan and smiled, holding Dipper’s hand.</p>
<p>The town stood behind her, her family stood aside her, and, for the first time in what felt like forever, Pacifica Northwest was finally certain.</p>
<p>She had everything she’d <em>ever</em> wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Loose Ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>With the town in financial trouble, Mayor Cutebiker assembles a crack team of business experts to improve Gravity Falls' coffers. Unfortunately, among them is the bitter, angry and desperate Preston Northwest - who's got a plan to save the town, get back on top and take his daughter back in one fell swoop.</p><p>Boasting grand promises of train rides, gas stations and a second carriage at Greasy's Diner, Preston Northwest seems to have what everybody has always wished for. It's only Pacifica Northwest and the Pines family who know that a Northwest only provides for themselves. </p><p>With the safety of Pacifica in the balance, Dipper and his family go up against their fiercest rival yet - men with ponytails and bluetooth headsets.</p><p>In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Pacifica cuddled up with Dipper for the entire journey back to the shack, her head on his shoulder, her hands folded into his.</p><p>She was exhausted – but happy and invigorated, even if her boyfriend was a sweaty, awkward nerd who could barely even hit things with a baseball bat and froze like a statue the moment she had <em>any</em> kind of physical contact with him.</p><p>“I love you.” She whispered, just out of earshot of the rest of the family.</p><p>Dipper went red and squirmed, wrapping his arm around her. “Y-you too, Pacifica. You were great tonight. Like, seriously, I know it wasn’t easy but-“</p><p>“Dipper?”</p><p>“Y-yeah?”</p><p>“You talk too much.”</p><p>The entire town soon went back home, content in a good night’s unbridled aggression, destruction and rioting. It was back to business as usual. The Manotaurs had been placated, the gnomes went back to their…holes in the ground, or wherever the things lived, and the building site was left as a ruin – an empty husk of rubble and dirt.</p><p> </p><p>It was the next day when Preston Northwest received an ominiously chipper summons to the mayoral office. It was suspiciously joyful considering the town, in his mind, had tried to kill him.</p><p>Not literally tried to kill him, but it was a metaphor or something. They had tried to kill his career. Or his ego. Or something.</p><p>In any sense, he felt <em>hostile</em>.</p><p>Durland gave his rear end a swift thwack with his Billy club as he entered the mayor’s office, along with a long line of particularly confusing, irreverent insults.</p><p>It was, on the whole, humiliating and irritating. In his mind, he had been good to this town, and this was how they repaid him? What had he done wrong? He only charged the odd extortionate rent, or bullied the townsfolk to his whim, or perhaps treated his daughter a little strictly.</p><p>And caused people to briefly be turned into trees. One supposes that might get a few peoples’ backs up.</p><p>All the same, though – it was the principle. He deserved better than this! He was-</p><p>“Preston Northwest – take a seat!”</p><p>“Mr. Mayor, I’m a busy man. You’ve won. I don’t have anything else to discuss.”</p><p>Tyler giggled. “That’s where you’re wrong, Prestie! We’ve the terms of <em>your</em> contract to discuss.”</p><p>“What? What about it?”</p><p>“Surely you wouldn’t be stupid enough to sign something without reading it.” Tyler replied with wide, bright eyed grin.</p><p>Preston grabbed the contract and read it frantically.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>In the event of a failure for the Northwest Plan to bring success to GETEM and provide assistance to the authorities of Gravity Falls, Northwest Realty hereby agrees to enter a profit share with the Cutebiker office of 30% per month. </em> </strong>
</p><p>Underneath it there sat Preston Northwest’s signature – clear as day, written in permanent ink.</p><p>Preston stared – then stared up at Tyler.</p><p>“Y-you crook!”</p><p>“Crook? No no, Preston. It’s just business.” Came the smug reply from the cute little man in the trucker cap.</p><p>“I’ll – I’ll get my lawyers on your case so fast this town will be bankrupted!”</p><p>“Ah ah ah!” Tyler beamed, tapping another clause on the paperwork.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Preston Northwest also agrees to not try and weasel out using lawyers, magic or extortion.</em> </strong>
</p><p>“And if I refuse to honour the contract?!”</p><p>“Well, Gravity Falls penitentiary for you, then.”</p><p>Preston sputtered. “You’re all – you’re all just as corrupt as I am! You’re all criminals!”</p><p>“Of course we are, Preston.” Tyler grinned. “But we’re also <em>nice</em> to people. This isn’t about being legal, it’s about not being a jerk!”</p><p> </p><p>Once again, Gravity Falls had returned to a content, pleasant synergy between the world’s weirdest people and the creatures that surrounded it – settling back into the life they had always known; the <em>Never Mind All That</em> act made sure of it.</p><p>There was no such thing as gnomes or manotaurs, after all. Just ask any Government official. There was nothing weird going on in Gravity Falls, and nothing much to say about the disastrous evening at the McBurger site – nor the remains of the OregCo gas station.</p><p>Perhaps a group of joyriding teenagers had driven through town and wrecked the place. Who knew?</p><p>Horace Tyson left in a rage – furiously trying to insist to his insurance company that his site had been wrecked by gnomes. It was even picked up by the local news. Live on television, the skinny man in the garish suit threw the paperwork at Preston Northwest’s feet, tore up the contract, announced the town was a hellhole and took a coffee with ordinary dairy.</p><p>No doubt another press scandal on the way.</p><p>Soos and the kids took great pleasure in dismantling the fence around the Mystery Shack, eager to return to their home (and Airstream Trailer park with decent wifi) – but an even greater pleasure was awaiting Mr. Mystery.</p><p>There, in the car park, still sat a miniature train, track and carriages – still covered in OregCo stickers, still waiting to be built, and still waiting to be driven while wearing a novelty driver’s cap.</p><p>The entire family repainted the thing to remove the corporate branding and create a train fitting of the shack – messy, a little bit crude, involving plenty of question marks and a striking flame job.</p><p><strong><em>The Super Awesome Soos Mystery Express </em></strong>now runs through the forest every Saturday. Tickets are only $5, or $10 for tourists. $20 if you arrive in a particularly nice car.</p><p>Just remember, the gnomes are definitely animatronics and tricks of the light. Soos pays them in a breakfast burrito every Sunday morning.</p><p> </p><p>Frank McCatt scarpered back to his quieter Oregon locations, comfortable that nobody would ever ask him about the disaster zone that was Gravity Falls. People just chalked it up as a bad investment, it was written off for tax purposes and nothing else was said of it.</p><p>The land  was surrendered, and, for Greasy’s Diner, soon became an outdoor seating area (which basically meant a few picnic benches and the odd flowerpot)</p><p>McBurger has since attempted to reopen another location at Mystery Mountain.</p><p>Rumour has it this also went… poorly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Comedy, corruption, destruction and, most importantly, family.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was all part and parcel of a Gravity Falls summer.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Fin.</strong>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello. Jordan here. I'd just like to personally extend my sincerest of thanks to all of you for reading the series this far. The reaction has been utterly amazing - well beyond what I ever expected - and it's been a riot to see everybody enjoy Return to the Falls so much.</p><p>As expected, each story has resulted in almost constant deteriorating readership - to be expected, really, when the fandom is now on its 10th year. As a result, there probably won't be another written episode - and, if there is, it might take quite a while.</p><p>Obviously if the demand does rise up for another, I couldn't possibly refuse - but for now, take this as a little bit of a break while I work more on the comic strips and my own projects.</p><p>The support, the kind comments and the genuine enthusiasm has been utterly incredible to see in person. Thank you very much, and please, don't hesitate to say if you want to see more. Maybe if you've got an idea we could collaborate - all of this has been done off of my own back with no real guiding voice, brief, script or feedback.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Written during the Covid-19 Lockdown of 2020.<br/>With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.<br/>If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.<br/>www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk<br/>I do also have a ko-fi:<br/>https://ko-fi.com/jamooney<br/>And a Deviantart-mabob:<br/>https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart<br/>And that there Tumblrs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney</p></blockquote></div></div>
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